Well it's that time of year again...finals! I feel really confident I'll do well in my English final...but my math final I'm really feeling pretty crappy about.

Berek thinks I have a learning disability when it comes to learning math. I just can't seem to grasp or retain the concepts. I've always been this way. Berek even saw my high school and junior high school grades in math which have almost always been C's. I had a D in Algebra in high school as well.

He suggested that I be tested for a learning disability, but who wants to know that their brain doesn't function right? I'll feel inadequate I think if I found out that I have a learning disability. Then there's the other fear...that their isn't anything wrong with my brain and it's just me. Then what'll I do? Berek says I'll just have to work harder. I said, "What do you think I'm doing? I'm working my ass off! I'll study something today, but tomorrow I'll look at it and it'll be as if I never looked at anything!"

It's true though. In math, I can look at a concept and work at it by doing many examples, but the next day it's all for naught. I'll forget it. *sigh*

The true problem here is, I'm afraid because Berek is so intelligent that somehow if I have a learning disability or I just can't get the concepts of math that somehow he'll think less of me. I'll feel inadequate compared to him. *sigh* I feel so dumb.