So far the year 2005 sucks ass! My dad had to go to the emergency room at 1 a.m. this morning because his member had swollen up. He claimed it was lack of use, but then again, he's a joker. It turned out it was an infection of the fungal type and he'll be okay. That was the easy stuff...the hard stuff came later...

I woke up this morning a quarter to ten. My parents had been trying to call my grandfather for two hours by the time it was noon. Needless to say, they were a bit worried, as was I when I found out. My uncle went up with his family to his house in Santa Clarita. (For those who don't know that's about 1 - 2 hours away depending on traffic.

The scary part is when my uncle got up there the door was locked and the dogs weren't even barking. He banged on the door and looked in the window. He saw a shadow walk by and he guessed it was my grandpa. By the time he got into the house, he had seen that the whole house was a mess. Clothes were strewn across the house and my grandfather was naked. The heat was cranked in the house and he was completely out of his mind. He babbled strange things, he couldn't even work a lighter to light his cigarette. The kitchen was a mess. Food was everywhere. The coffee pot had coffee grounds and remnants of water and it was on the stove. It had appeared that he had forgotten how to make coffee. He clearly tried to boil the coffee on the stove because there were coffee grounds all over. My mom and I went up to his house after my distressed uncle had called to tell her what was going on.

By the time we got up there he had gotten a little better, but he didn't know how to put his clothes on so he was half naked still and he was still talking incoherently. I tried to keep him company while my uncle and mom searched for his truck keys, wallet and checkbook. They found them. Apparently, my grandfather hadn't eaten in at least two days.

We got a few things packed and brought him and his two dogs down to my mom's house. We're going to take him to the hospital, but not right away. Honestly, we got him to my mom's and engaged with him in conversation and gave him some food and he's gotten a lot better. He's not 100%, but he's keeping his thoughts together again. I don't think he can ever be alone again. He needs people to keep him stimulated mentally and to take care of him so that he eats properly and takes his heart medications properly. It was so scary...all I could do was cry. I love him so much and I'm not ready to let him go.

I was able to keep myself together enough around him, but as soon as I was out of his sight I broke down. I am just not ready to let him go. I think he's got more time. In any case, he's doing much better and I feel better knowing he's close by.

Tomorrow, I plan on visiting my mom's house to see him and my family. I want to spend as much time with him as possible.