Some things in life don't make sense. The McDonald's dollar menu, for instance. As of Jan. 28, it no loger features the six-piece McNuggets, but it still features the four-piece. That's a quarter a nugget. A six-piece now again costs $2.29, or more than 38 cents per nugget. Brilliant fucking pricing, McDonald's.

Maybe you dumb bastards don't realize this, but I can buy 8 nuggets for $2, or 29 cents less than the price of 6. Which one of your fucking geniuses is in charge of pricing - the red-headed jerk who always wears yellow, or that big fat purple fuck? (It goes without saying that it's not the Hamburgler. When you don't actually pay for anything, prices are of no concern to you, unless, I guess, you're contemplating whether you want to be charged with theft of less than $100 or theft of less than $500. Oh, and here's an idea, Hamburgler - why don't you try stealing some fucking clothes that aren't prison-issued? It might make you draw a little less attention your way).

As I write, I notice the bottom portion of my McDonald's coffee is full of coffee grinds. Goddamnit.

And here's another example: the coffee cup says "I'm hot" for English-speaking folk and "(upside-down exclamation mark) Esta caliente!" for Hispanics. It also says "Handle with care" for us gringos.

??? So, English-speakers are encouraged to handle the cup with care, and we're also led to believe that the cup is a speaking entity, able to inform us that "I'm hot." I'll be the judge of that, jerkstore. Hispanics, however, are not warned to handle with care. They're also told that the cup (third-person) is hot, but it's done so with exclamation marks, so it's more like "Dude! That's hot!" Does McDonald's assume that Hispanics, who are unable to understand personification, utter every phrase with extra-sauciness, calling for exclamation marks, and that for some reason they don't need to be warned to handle with care (perhaps they have some sort of evolutionary advantage where they just know to handle with care?)? I hate you, McDonald's.

Also, below the Hispanic warning is a picture of Ronald McDonald (kind of a self-serving last name, isn't it?) running to a garbage can and dropping a cup into it, possible because it was too hot to handle. Is this some sort of inside-joke with the Hispanic community where white-faced Ron couldn't handle the heat of the cup or something? I don't know. I'm over it. Fuck you, McDonald's.