Congratulations on making it this far in the application process. Please answer a few brief questions to continue.

1)Are you a player?
a)yes
b)no
c)no, but I do crush a lot

2)Which sports team has the least annoying fans?
a)New England Patriots
b)Boston Red Sox
c)Boston Celtics
d)fuck all of them

3)Which is the superior Dolph Lundgren role?
a)He-man in Masters of the Universe
b)Sgt. Chris Kenner Showdown in Little Tokyo
c)Graduate student who received a master's degree in chemical engineering in real life

4)When is it appropriate to say or write the word 'utilize?'
a)whenever you could use 'use' instead
b)whenever you want to sound smart but really end up sounding like an asshole
c)whenever you want to receive a steel-toed boot to the nuts

5)Which country would you bomb first?
a)Iran
b)North Korea
c)Paris, Texas

Thank you for applying. We will keep you in mind for the position.