Two weeks ago, Haddayr's father -- a quirky, dynamic individual of 59 -- went jogging, had a heart attack, and died. His second grandchild is due next month.

My grandpa passed away two and a half years ago. It was hard for me to comprehend. After all, he'd been such a powerful presence and foundation in and for our family that his absence just didn't make any sense. Walking through my grandparents' house, I was sure he was just in another room.

Then, as I was in the shower a few weeks after he died, I realized that Grandpa would never get to hold Shawn's and my children. That's when it became real, and I couldn't seem to stop crying.

When Hunter was about a month and a half old, I went to the cemetary to present him to the Grandpa he'd never know. I sat on the grass by the headstone and told him what a wonderful, miraculous great-grandson he had. I promised to tell Hunter lots of stories so he'd learn about the Landis Patriarch.

But then Hunter started to complain that he was hungry, so I started nursing him. As clearly as if he were sitting next to me, I saw Grandpa turn beet red, trying desperately to not appear flustered and failing completely. I smiled. Yes, he might not be able to hold Hunter in his arms, but the legacy of Grandpa's heart would hold him forever.