Rachel S. Heslin
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The potty training thing has been holding pretty well. Hunter went back to school on the 8th after three weeks off and he was initially afraid of their Big Kids' Potty (he'd been using his little potty at home and the one time we'd gone out), but we worked on it some more and he's doing really well.

But he's still learning, and we still have accidents. Sometimes he refuses to go, even though he's fidgeting and obviously in need.

Tonight, after another refusal, he told me straight out:

"I don't like being a Big Boy [our phrase for being able to use the toilet and wear underpants]. I want to be a Little Boy."

I put him on my lap and hugged him, asking, "Is it hard being a Big Boy? Is it a lot of work remembering to listen to your body and use the big potty?"

"Yeah."

Winging it, I tried to think of encouraging things to say, but inside, a part of me was panicking because I didn't know what to do. I've tried really, really hard to make this a positive, empowering experience, concentrating on how well he's doing and how proud we are of him and how exciting it is to learn this new skill. But if he doesn't want to do it, after all the effort I've put into making it appealing, I don't know what else to do. Going back to diapers isn't an option (although I admit to using pull-ups a couple of occasions outside of nap and bedtime when I just wasn't up to being that attentive or didn't feel like cleaning up potential accidents).

Apparently my attempts at reassurance didn't appeal to him, because he squirmed his way off my lap and went to play with his toys, leaving me in my frazzled state of Oh, no -- NOW what do I do?!?!!

Three minutes later, he got up and said, "I have to run to potty!" He got there in time, did his business neatly and efficiently, then asked for his sticker and treat. (Yes, I have resorted to sliding-scale bribery.)

I guess he just needed a little empathy and appreciation.

And, again, I have to say that I absolutely adore our son.



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