Okay, so the rumor machine is all atwitter today over speculation that Veep Dick "Fuck You" Cheney is about to pull himself out of the game by resigning prior to the end of the Shrub's second ill-gotten administration.

Apparently, the basis for the back-alley banter is a new book by turncoat Dick Morris that imagines a presidential contest in 2008 between Hillary Clinton and Condolezz...er, Condolleeeezz... er, Condolleez... aw, hell, Condi Rice. According to the Beltway buzz, Cheney will take one for the team by resigning as VP, citing 'health problems', so that Bush can hand the right hand seat to Rice in anticipation of a White House run, while he still has a Republican Congress to confirm the choice.

Morris, according to reports, claims the Republicans believe that there isn't another GOP pol with the stones to take on Hillary and win, given the Shrub's dismally low approval numbers. And, there may be some basis to this. After all, if the Presidential race were held today, Bush would probably have a difficult time whipping the foam on a double half-caf mocha latte.

What I can't figure, though, is how anyone thinks that Rice would do any better. If there was ever a blatant case in point demonstrating the validity of the Peter Principle, it is our current Secretary of State. Here is a woman whom, as National Security Advisor, somehow booted a memo entitled "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in United States", and then tried to defend her stupidity in a nationally televised Congressional hearing. When the only man in the Bush White House with a shred of honor, Colin Powell, fell on his sword because he could no longer stomach the lies coming out of the West Wing, we're supposed to believe that the absolute best person Bush could find to replace him was Rice. In other words, having failed miserably in anticipating the telegraphed ramp-up to 9/11, Condi Rice was - in the Shrub's myopic view - the one person in the country best suited to represent the United States in the geopolitical arena.

Here's what I really think happened. The entire Bush Administration has been one marked by Good-Ol'-Boyism, nepotistic glad-handing, and self-serving score settling. Bush One's bowling buddy Dick Cheney is called upon in 1999 to comb the land looking for an honest man to pair off with Bush Two, and the best person he can come up with is... well, himself. After the election, Bush One's poker pal Rumsfeld was brought on board to orchestrate the invasion of Iraq, almost a year before 9/11. Karl Rove and Scooter Libby (currently in the center of the Valerie Plame scandal) were also old Bush One cronies, and were recruited to keep the kid from looking dumb.

To this day, I can't figure out why Colin Powell threw in with these embarrassments, except perhaps he felt like he owed a debt of loyalty to Bush One, whom he served during Desert Storm. Maybe Powell, like the Shrub's Dad, felt he had left the job a little underdone in Gulf War Round One, and wanted a chance at a second swat at Saddam Hussein. Who knows?

In other words, almost the entire Bush White House is populated by Bush One insiders, except for Condi Rice. If, as it is thought might happen, Dick Cheney takes a dive to once more divert attention from the fact that the Emperor has no clothes, it is probable that the only place Bush has to choose from for Replacement Veep is within his own circle. Can you imagine any sane person on the outside who would want to sign on with this eight-year train wreck at this point?

To make matters worse, pickings are getting slim. Rove and Libby are likely to be indicted any day, and have already indicated that they would resign immediately if that happens. Rumsfeld has sort of vanished lately - probably locked in a closet in the Executive Office Building. Powell already took a train to the coast. Tom Delay is dodging the cops in Texas, and is probably already practicing how to take a shower without bobbling the soap.

In other words, with all the phony baloney cronies flying the coop at 1600 Penn Ave, Condi Rice may be the only person left in America who is: A)Not currently under investigation or indictment, B)Self-deluded enough to believe she can handle the job, and C)Willing to allow her name to be paired with Bush's as the administration augers in like a bunker buster.

Here's my suggestion. Keep Cheney. Dump Bush. We all know that Cheney's corrupt, devious, and megalomaniacal. At least he doesn't try to pretend he's something he isn't. He's also smart, something the Shrub can't brag about. I don't agree with a single thing he believes, but at least I always know where he's coming from.

Of course, this will never happen. Instead, the President's inner circle will fall away one by one, draw token prison time, or take plum positions with Halliburton, or just fade away, until Bush is left wandering the countryside like King Lear, babbling to himself about the grandeur that was his reign, with his faithful companion Condi Rice by his side.

And you know who King Lear's companion on his travels was, don't you?

That's right. The Fool.