I guess my job as a child is to observe the life of the adults and try to correct the problems that I have in mine through watching them. But I dont understand some of what there life is about, they fight, they get over it, they kiss, have mad passionate sex, and then they get into another fight... It seems to me that life is always going to be full of this kind of thing. Ever since I was a small child my life has been full of instability, lies, unsupportive family member, emotional issues, and a lot of other things that I'm not at will to talk about, even if this is my personal journal. I'm just really confused about everything. I guess Im worried that my life is going to be like theirs and I dont want to end up like them. Fate I feel may have chosen a different path for me. Even if it's going to have a tragic end. But I guess thats how life goes. we live, love, hate, die... and it's an endless circle, a neverending pattern... a.k.a insanity....

My mom and I were talking earlier today and we think that it would be a good thing if I get evaluated, Im kind of getting scared of myself and nothing I do, will ever stop the thoughts, the little thoughts in the back of my head... they always say bad things, and it sounds like my voice sometimes but others, It doesnt even sound like the kind of thing I would even consider saying.... WEll I guess I've said enough here... farewell...