Its like being stuck in a purgatory of being in high's and low's pushed and pulled in every direction, and being moved no where. What do I have? when it all comes down to it, I have everything that I want, and yet nothing of my own at all, its all from being dependent on someone else. I feel like I'm being drownded by my own inability to display emotions in an appropriate way. I misguide people with how I feel. I feel very young, very naive and extremely vulnerable; along with being comfortable, happy, and feeling loved. I'm really starting to hate that word though, not because of anyone else, just because I feel that I have emptied it of its meanings by overusing it. I feel like a terrible person, and girlfriend. I want to be the best I can be, but sometimes I just see red. It doesn't necessarily have to be his fault. I might just fall back tonight, relax, let go, and just temporarily forget to live.