I know its petty, and I feel stupid and immature for feeling this way, its just, I always feel like I have to take a back seat for everyone else's wants and needs. For once I would like the attention to be on me. For once I would like someone to look at me and notice me... I want to be congratulated for what I've done, instead of being in the shadow of someone else's accomplishments.
I've just realized all of the things I have missed out on because I was concerned about how other people would feel. How many events that would be reminders of my childhood that I will never have. No proms, no graduation, no birthday parties, no first car, I guess its pathetic really. (my legs hurt)
I don't think its because I've been deprived or anything, and I'm not particularly blaming anyone, I could have always done something for myself; I would just like to be noticed sometimes, I guess its just always been bad timing. When I was younger I believe that a lot of what I did was to get noticed and it did nothing but get me further ignored. I wasn't exactly the easiest person to get along with.
But I believe that I have tried so hard to be passive agressive and not get in the way, and yet people always want more, more, more. I sometimes feel so stretched and taken advantage of, but they don't understand, they will never understand because they don't see from my point of view. Well I'm off to never never land... (if I die will someone please tell everyone that i've died...inside joke)