I don't want to die, but I can no longer keep living like this, I can't keep hiding these lies, buried deep within. Stifled, so deep that skeleton's would look far more pleasant than what is buried so deep within my soul. I want to feel like myself again, instead of a skeleton, or a shell without substance, so light that if a strong wind blew the wrong way, I'm afraid that I would just blow away.
I want to feel happy damn it, I don't want to be miserable, hell is my life so terrible that I can't feel happiness at all. I'm pathetic, a failure, and these voices will never stop telling me in the back of my head that I will never be what I was meant to be. I know there is a beautiful person somewhere inside of me, and I can't find it. I can't see that silver lining inside of me. All that I have left is this selfish, self-absorbed person, that cares about nothing or no-one, hell not even myself. I don't want to get a fix on misery, do I really get off on hurting myself at all costs.
Sometimes I imagine, terrible things...