So I asked myself this morning when I woke up, what do I really have to live for? And I seriously thought about it; what purpose do I really serve in life? And right now seriously there isn't one thing that I feel like I have to live for.

I could say that I live for other people, but then how would that benefit me. I have no children, so I can't say that they are what I live for. And though I love my family, I can't exactly say that I live for them either.

Art; yes I admit I love beauty; and I love creating beautiful things, but it isn't why I wake up in the morning.

Myself.... ha ha ha ha hahahahaha, must I go on? Thats something to laugh about, and so self absorbed, and selfish. Living for one's self! that brings a smile to my face.

I wake up, I sit around, I read, I watch a small amount to television, I clean after my family; and I sleep. That's what my day has really come to, I have no social interaction outside of the occaisional online speak. Life isn't terrible I don't suppose, I could be dead :D.... get it.

I feel like I'm at the bottom of a deep well, grasping the walls, and knowing that I'll never get out. I will never let myself out, I will never feel like I deserve to be out. SO i just sit in the water and think about climbing out, and never do it.