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Comment on Herb Goldberg¡¯s
In Harness: The Male Condition
by sharp(Huang Xin)
Herb Goldberg in his essay "In Harness: The Male Condition." suggests that men are harnessed by the roles society expects of them, that although we may think they are in control, and they may think they are in control, that actually they are more controlled by society than women are even. Women have gone through a revolution to be able to act in more stereotypically male ways, but men are stuck by their own expectations.(paragraph 17) He punctures the balloons of the idea that a man is happiest when he is most "macho," seducing several women (though Goldberg says this is not satisfying in paragraph 9, P.199), marrying a woman because she is perceived as desireable by other men, clawing to the top of the career ladder while meantime drinking too much and unhappy but not able to admit to being unhappy because he has achieved what is perceived to be the ideal masculine model. He suggests this man (himself) is unhappy because he is forced to conform to a stereotyped role, put in harness to society's expectation of him. And he should be reacting with fear and anger, which would be a way of breaking out of the mold he is poured into, but he is fooled into complacency by his own "success," as defined by others. He wants to strip away the idea that man is privileged over women because of his power; he wants us to believe men are less powerful because they do conform to society's roles. Like Shooting an Elephant, this essay is interesting because it takes a common belief (that men are in control of the world and are therefore happy and fulfilled), and shows his view that men are even more victims of conventionality than women. Of course, but I believe the 21st century¡¯s man has broken out of his harness, can express his emotions, is not condemned to the role of sole breadwinner, husband/father, successful businessman.
Whether a person realizes it or not, a career can consume and control one's life. Success, the ego builder, forces people to find their place in this fast-paced environment, moving up the corporate ladder, constantly searching for status is what most strive for. The main focus is financial security, which allows for a better lifestyle. We find ourselves living "in harness," as Herb Goldberg explains in this essay, like many people, he explains, most are "Zombies," a daytime sleepwalker. Our culture is saturated with highly successful "Zombies," as a result, losing sight of their identity, choking in the harness that society has placed on them. This happens when playing by the rules of the business world. Paying little attention to what is really important in hopes of pleasing others could be regretted for many years to come.
Until one day, reality sets in. A miracle, the arrival of a newly born loved one or possibly a tragedy may occur in one's life. Only then is everything put into perspective. We begin paying attention to the basic things in life all over again, such as family and health. Decisions begin to be made with consideration of how something may affect another human being or situation. We no longer think of our own happiness first, or allow our careers to be our motivation. We learn to appreciate an important quality that life has to offer, the love for one another. In some extent, I think that the proverb ¡°One who is content is happy¡± is much reasonable and useful. Of course, I believe the 21st century¡¯s man has broken out of his harness, can express his emotions, is not condemned to the role of sole breadwinner, husband/father, successful businessman, this point was just mentioned above. Thus we, as far as I am concerned, must endeavor to release our pressure¡ªget out of the disgusting harness, pay much attention to how to live harmoniously, healthily and happily with our family, parents, wife, sisters, brothers and some relatives, in order to enjoy the real family happiness.