Now that the boy and I have registered (the whole “registering” thing is an absolute minefield, I have learned…but that’s another issue for another entry) and I’ve had time to think about all of the things we are essentially telling our guests to buy for us (again, minefield), I realize that there are a few things that I’m looking forward to above all of the others. I think that these things tell a bit about me, so I thought I’d share.

1. Zester. Yep, a $5 zester. I’ve wanted one for YEARS. Why not just buy yourself a zester, you ask? I have no friggin’ idea. Perhaps it’s becomes *someone* keeps telling me that zesters are pointless and that all you REALLY need to use is the side of the box grater with the teeny tiny holes. Yet, when I actually try to use that size of the box grater, I end up with a box grater full of lemon zest and no usable lemon zest. Since I can’t throw the box grater in the bowl of ingredients for whatever it is that I’m preparing, I end up omitting zest from every recipe. This is probably no big deal for most recipes, but when you want to make chili lime tofu, for example, and it seems that most of the lime flavor comes from lime zest, I can’t even bother making the recipe because I know it’ll taste remarkable lime-less, and chili tofu just doesn’t sound as delicious.

2. Garlic press. That’s right, I said garlic press. Why not just buy yourself a garlic press, you ask? Again, no idea. That annoying *someone* from the zester comments above tells me that all I need to do is mince the garlic with one of our chef knives. But when I’m making a double match of some tasty soup to get me through the week and need to mince, say, six cloves of garlic, I end up getting very lazy and throwing barely chopped garlic into the stock pot rather than beautifully minced garlic. If a garlic press were to turn up, say, in the mail or, miraculously, in my utensil drawer, I would probably sob with joy.

3. Self-inflating sleeping bag mat thingie. Sounds strange, but if you do the following, I guarantee you won’t question it. First, go on a long sail on choppy-ass Lake Erie. Second, grill some Tofurkey brats with your friends. Third, drink a few beers. Fourth, drag your self-inflating mat back to the bow of the nearby sailboat. Fifth, watch it magically inflate. Sixth, grab a pillow, lay on the mat, and fall asleep on the bow. I guarantee it will be your Best. Sleep. Ever.

4. Juicer. That’s right, I said juicer. “But you never even drink juice!” one might exclaim. Well, smartass, I don’t drink juice because I don’t have a juicer. I didn’t drink smoothies before I had a blender, did I? Noooooo! But now what do I have for breakfast? Well, when it’s not oatmeal, it’s frozen berry smoothies with rice protein powder, flax oil, and banana! If I had a juicer, I could go on a juice fast! I could make vegetable/fruit juices for lunch! I guarantee that my hair would be shinier and my disposition much sunnier!

Yeah. Registering was a great experience. Ultimately, I had the opportunity to look at things I would never consider buying for myself (mostly because buying stuff just stresses me out, and I much prefer a stuff-less existence) and imagine the type of person that I’d be if I owned them. I also do this when apartment shopping. For example, when Aud and I considered signing a lease for a gorgeous loft last year, I just *knew* that, if I lived in that loft, I would be amazing! I’d speak at least two new languages! I’d be well-read! I’d have lots of friends over for fancy dinners every weekend! I’d have beautiful hair and fit into my skinny jeans! I’d be well-versed on the latest political, social, and economic issues and debate them rigorously with friends, both old and new. I’d probably even run a marathon, not need to wear bras anymore, and have fabulously white teeth! And I wouldn’t have to shave my legs anymore, because they’d be remarkably hair free! I’d also travel to places like Turkey, Belize, and Morocco! I’d wear dresses on a regular basis!

Ultimately, what I’m trying to convey, is that if I have these items from my registry, I will forever sleep on sailboats, make garlic-y soup on a weekly basis, stop avoiding recipes with zest in them, and try a juice fast. This is what I expect married life is all about.