No matter what the day brings, deep down I know it really is a good day because I have the man of my dreams, a kitty who loves me, a roof over my head and I live in paradise.

Get Email Updates
Al-Anon Family Groups
annanotbob3's journal
A Place of My Own
bunt sign
Eric Mayer Byzantine Blog
Hyperbole and a Half
L. L. Bean
LA the Sage
Reenies's Reach
Talking Stick
Thoughts From Crow Cottage
Topsy Turvy's Journal
Email Me

Admin Password

Remember Me

279724 Curiosities served
Share on Facebook

Previous Entry :: Next Entry


Read/Post Comments (2)


"I probably have not killed anyone in America because I write, I've maintained good controls over myself by writing." - Sonia Sanchez

I had not thought about this in years until a friend brought it up concerning our childhood. When I was a child I wasn't aware of the secrets but I did know this:

Don't talk.
Don't trust.
Don't feel.

And, please God, make me invisible.

This was what it was like growing up in an alcoholic home. I didn't know that our home life wasn't normal.

Mother was always raging and Dad was silent, hiding behind his stack of books and magazines in his chair in the corner.

I did follow those secrets most of my life; but, every now and then the rebel in me would rear her head and I did talk, I did trust, and I did feel.

The outcome you might ask?

Most of the time I learned people could not be trusted and I pulled my walls around me and pulled up the drawbridge to my castle and just watch life go about its merry way.

Thankfully, I did make some good and close friends to where I could share what was going on with me. I could be . . . just me.

Then I found Al-Anon where I met more people who had experienced some of the stuff I did and we shared our experience, strength and hope. Today I am grateful that I feel okay to talk, to feel, and to trust.

Life is pretty good these days and I am glad I am in it.

I still feel like crap and I have cancelled my appointments for the day. I am going to my chair and read for awhile.

mz. em

Currently reading:

--"Don't Blink" James Patterson and Howard Roughan
-- "Living, Loving & Learning" - Leo Buscaglia, Ph.D.
-- "The Daily Book of Art/356 readings that teach, inspire & entertain" - day 111

Read/Post Comments (2)

Previous Entry :: Next Entry

Back to Top

Powered by JournalScape © 2001-2010 JournalScape.com. All rights reserved.
All content rights reserved by the author.