No matter what the day brings, deep down I know it really is a good day because I have the man of my dreams, a kitty who loves me, a roof over my head and I live in paradise.

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Tired and Anxious

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"Fill your bowl to the brim
and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife
and it will blunt.
Chase after money and security
and your heart will never unclench.
Care about people's approval
and you will be their prisoner.

Do your work, then step back.
The only path to serenity."

- Lao Tzu

It was another night of not sleeping. I woke up at 2:30 a.m. I tried snuggling with Michael and Bailey but that did not help. My neck was stiff and I was having muscle spasms in my back.

Around 5 a.m. I chose to get up. I didn't want to get out of bed but I was so uncomfortable and stressed I thought it might be the best thing.

My usual morning routine - though much later in the morning - was to go meditate. Well, I had an "oh my" as I was adding essential oil into my burner. I had the dropper in one hand and in the other the open bottle and the flashlight. I hadn't switched on the overhead light as it would have been too bright for me. Before dropping the oil into the water I aimed the flashlight and when I did, I poured out the oil in the bottle. Duh, I had a a "what time is it" moment and have a coffee cup in my hand.

While I meditated, I felt like a dumb bunny. At the end, it occurred to me to use the dropper to suck up the oil. It worked! I couldn't get it all but most of it. I can be such a genius at times. At least my room smells nice.

Then I went round and round about whether to go for a walk or to stay in and use my weights. The walk won out as it was still very early. I like this time of day because there are not many cars on the road. The earth is silent and peaceful. I have found listening to my transistor radio helps in keeping me occupied instead of obsessing on how my body feels or how far is it until I reach home.

I wish to share some of the photos I took while I was out and to share with you the area I live in.

I am captivated by the mailboxes in my area. I saw a few more which I will have to take a photo later. This one I think caught my eye because of the eyes.

Another mailbox

Here is a view of the Back Bay in Baywood Park. The tide is really out this morning.

A different view of the Baywood Back Bay

Here is a view from the other direction of the Back Bay. The dots out in the Bay are beached sailboats. They're not going anywhere until the tide comes back in. Plus you can see a little bit of the pier.

Back Bay in Baywood Park

Here is a sign near the pier. The directions of the arrows don't match up to where the locations are.

Directional Sign

This is a view of a different part of the Back Bay with Morro Rock off in the distance.

A view of Morro Rock

And, here's a shot of Black Mountain. This is the hill to the left in this photo. It is located above the golf course in Morro Bay State Park. Having been to the Rockies, I don't consider this a mountain but it is a hefty climb. Arriving at the top you get a view of the Back Bay and the whole coastline in this area. It is very beautiful.

Black Mountain

Arriving home, I feel tired but I do not take a nap.

On our agenda for today is to go to the food bank and then I go to my Al-Anon meeting. I am already feeling anxious about being out and about with people. I am so thankful that Michael goes with me.

On the way home I had a call from the blood bank, United Blood Services, advising me that they have a drive going on in my neighborhood. Michael was good enough to drop me off and I finally got to donate blood. They like my blood because I am O negative.

After my time there, Michael came back to get me. I am trying to stay up so I could make the meeting but it wasn't going to happen tonight. I kept falling asleep in my chair.

I think I will call it a night.

mz. em

Currently reading:

-- "House Magic - The Good Witch's Guide to Bringing Grace to Your Space" - Ariana

-- "The Crimson Petal and the White" - Michel Faber


"I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again." - William Penn, English entrepreneur and philosopher

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