CaySwann
A "G-Rated Journal" That Even My Mother Can Read (because she does!)

Effervescence is a state of mind. It's about choosing to bring sunshine to the day.
Every person I meet matters.

If it's written down, I know it (If it's not written down, I don't know it)
If it's color-coded, I understand it (If it's not color-coded, I don't understand it)


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Daddy-do and me, 2010


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Weekend away and a head full of ideas

I'd almost forgotten that I hadn't posted recently, until I realized all my writing was still in my Drafts folder. Sorry this is longer than usual.

Notes from my weekend - First the narrative, then the inspiration and thoughtful bits.

Many of you will remember that I happen to be the Bard of our Kingdom right now, here in Southern CA. At the large camping event in October, called Great Western War (or GWW for short), on the very last day I met a friend of a friend as she was dressed in t-shirt and jeans, ready to go back home. As she walked away in the last "goodbye" I found out that she was the Bard of the neighboring kingdom to the north. We really found out much too late (You're the Bard? I'm the Bard!) to have gotten to know each other, but because we have mutual friends *and* we happen to both keep online journals, we swapped journal IDs and promised to meet up online soon. We've only just started an email here, a journal comment there, but it was nice to meet a fellow musician and make that first friendship contact.

So there I was, reading her journal and our mutual friends' journals, when it's announced that at their Principality Coronet event (which is a little bit like having a Crown tournament for the King and Queen to be decided in the sword fighting competition), that her Consort won Coronet and they were about to become the Prince and Princess of the Mists (the Bay Area region of the Kingdom to the north). Suddenly mutual friends were all making plans to be there for her big day. Friends were flying in from Arizona. Others were driving in from all over. And now my sister Bard to the north was going to become a Princess. And the event was on a Saturday that I didn't already have a major commitment. And the event was being held about 15-minutes drive from my college best friend, whom I hadn't seen in 4-5 years. And Kristin was going to be home that weekend. Perfect! I had to attend!

I'd originally planned to use my regular Friday off to do laundry quickly in the morning, get my hair cut, pack, and drive to the Bay Area early. My hair stylist doesn't have a studio right now, so she comes to my house when I have a day off work, on one of my alternate Fridays. I set the appt for 8 am, but she ran into traffic so we didn't start until 8:30. I hadn't done laundry first, so it was color, shower/rinse, cut, say goodbye, shower again (because I always wash my hair once more after having it cut), dress, complete some computer errands, pack the laundry, head to the laundromat, run a few more errands, return home, pack quickly, and try to hit the road. Yeah, um, 4:30 in the afternoon on a Friday is not leaving early. But I had my oil topped off, the tires filled to even pressure, and found the one route north that wasn't completely stopped or backed up: Yes, no one is driving into the East-LA interchange at 5 in the evening. So I drove up through downtown, rather than along the coast. I stopped in Santa Clarita for a quick dinner at Denny's (sorry Mom and Jan, I didn't have time to call or visit) then hit the road to cut across the 126 through Santa Paula, hit the north end of Ventura, then take the 101 to the Bay Area. Possibly taking the 5 through the central valley would have been faster, but I *love* the drive on the 101, and I was already grumpy about having used up the whole day at home, rather than on the road. I needed the joy of the coastal drive.

Many cups of coffee later, I arrived at Kristin's at 1:30 am. There's no reason it should have taken that long, but I did stop for dinner, a few bathroom breaks, coffee, gasoline, and just traffic at the beginning of the trip. *sigh* But arriving safely, good! Sleeping, better!

In the morning, I puttered around, taking my time braiding in the extensions to my hair for an SCA event. I completely surprised Henry (Kristin's housemate and boyfriend), who saw me working on short hair then long hair, and didn't realize that the long hair wasn't natural at first. Ah, "The illusion is complete!" They headed off for breakfast with Kristin's Mom, who was celebrating a birthday, while I finished getting dressed and ready for Coronation (or is it "Investiture," hmm?).

The best thing about the event for me was just hanging out with so many different friends. I spent the bulk of my time socializing with Ianuk, and got a little bit more acquainted with Cecilia, who happens to be *the* inspiration for my painted dress and my enthusiasm for painted fabrics. (The world is also really small: Cecilia also happens to be the Queen of Atenveldt, too, plus she was Zippy's Laurel... Zippy sat in front of Bill and I on the plane to Pennsic, AND happens to be friends with tons of my SCA friends... All my friends continue to know each other!) I didn't catch all the names of Ianuk's buddies, but I cannot wait to go out to Arizona for some of *their* events, and enjoy the company of some of those folks too. Good people!

Also, a number of folks from my southern CA kingdom now live in the Bay Area, so surprisingly I knew quite a few other friends at the event. Ghislaine and I are old friends from years ago, and she had the wonderful fortune of winning their Bard of the Mists competition just a few weeks ago. So, by coincidence I witnessed her installation as their Bard at the event. My dear friend Elizabeth was at the event, and we chatted and squealed a bit to see each other there. Broichan has moved up to their area, which was a lovely surprise to see him. It was great to see Ajax, and one of these days I'll have to actually get to know Nisaa, rather than just pass her and smile at events. A few others I've met through friends at different events, so I was able to catch up a bit with Inis and Juan Santiago. And yes, of course I met some people for the first time, as they sat and struck up conversations with me.

I only stayed through all the indoor court events (there were three courts!), and then said my goodbye's and headed back to Kristin's. We haven't seen each other for nearly 4-5 years, and so I really wanted to spend the evening with her. I was leaving the event site around 3:30 pm, and already it looked like sunset was about to fall. The time change seems SO EARLY right now!! *Sheesh!* But, back at Kristin's, it was time to put away all the SCA jewelry, clothing, hair extensions, etc. and get dressed in "modern clothing" and start picking out dinner plans. We settled on an eatery with a deli-like menu, and a famous reputation for their matzoh ball soup. I had a fantastic fettuccine with halved roma tomatoes and cheese stuffed giant mushrooms. Our dinners came with fresh rolls straight from the bakery, and I have to say that was the best cinnamon raisin bread I've had in years. After dinner we wandered over to Trader Joe's, picked up groceries for Kristin, snacks for my drive home, and some possible snacks and desserts for our late night chatting. We'd also brought home a slice of chocolate cake from the restaurant, so we were well fortified for late night best friend chatter. We did finally share the cake between all three of us, a pot of coffee for me and Henry, and chatted until nearly midnight. Friendship for the win! :)

I started the drive home bright and early, took a short 20 minute nap after about 90 minutes of driving, grabbed some more coffee, and just enjoyed the scenery. I get nostalgic on that drive home, and always remember how much I miss living in the Santa Barbara area. *sigh*

On the way, I rang up Josh and Kim, and they happened to be out shopping in Solvang. So 15 minutes later I was meeting up with friends, drinking more coffee, and nibbling on "abelskivers" (a round pancake-like dumpling with raspberry sauce). We chatted about friends, family, SCA events, artistic pursuits, and all sorts of goodness. It was a wonderful break from driving and another great chance to catch up with friends I haven't spent any time with in a while.

Back at home, Bill had spent the evening consulting with my roomie on costuming, and was headed out maybe 20 minutes after I got home. Then, Bill's friend Kevin, whom I met earlier this year at the picnic for when Jason was in town, had spent the weekend in LA for a seminar, and we'd made plans to have dinner together on his drive back to San Diego. He arrived, we wandered over to a local mom-and-pop restaurant, had fun chatting over dinner, and got him safely back on the road for home.

Monday, my friend Drell (Mike) called to confirm that *we* were finally catching up over dinner, having not run into each other in over a year or so. Once upon a time, he needed to crash on my couch for a bit, and while he stayed here earned the nickname "hoodlum," so "my hoodlum" took me to dinner Monday night. And then last night, my evening to work on Pentathlon projects at Rae's was cancelled, so my roomie and I were able to head out for dinner together. We finally got to eat at the new sushi place near our home, and had a lovely time of it. I think I'm *definitely* ready to buy groceries and cook at home again for a while.

Now the Ideas - Some reading, some listening, and some long hours in the car have gotten me thinking about quite a few things. First, the messy state of my home. On the drive home, I was idly worrying about all the cleaning and organizing I need to get done at home lately. Suddenly, it was a very simple image. I worry constantly about the lazy version of me, the reason I live in so much clutter in the first place. Oddly enough, several friends are always telling me how organized I am. So why not picture the lazy version of me having abandoned my home, leaving the organized version of me to inherit everything? I know, it's cheesy, and I wouldn't suggest pushing the metaphor too far -- you know, splitting my personality into two. But I'm always curious, what keeps me from getting things done? Laziness winning over organizational motivation. So now I'm trying to picture that the real me is the Organized, motivated self. That the lazy version of me is a part of my history, but not who I *really* am. It's a start.

And in fact, on a successful note, I got the living room and kitchen cleaned up before dinner with Kevin. I got a major portion of my room picked up on Monday. Picked up more on Tuesday. Today managed another portion of my room. Tomorrow, Thanksgiving. But Friday, my roomie will help me with moving furniture. I'd loaned my love seat to Ben and Erika, and they got their own couch(es), so my love seat was returned. I'm moving it into the bedroom (hence, the major worry over the clutter in my room), and in the process, making a major shift of some tables, bookcases, a credenza, some file cabinets, etc.

Okay, so back to more thoughts about life.

I bought (President-Elect) Barack Obama's books on CD a while ago, because they were recorded "as read by the author." When he first started campaigning in the primaries, back when there were still at least a dozen Democratic candidates, I'd been riding with my friend Scott on a drive to Las Vegas. I was dozing in and out of sleep, having been up all night before. While Scott drove, he was listening to a satellite radio channel that was nothing but Barack Obama speaking. There I was, drifting in and out of consciousness, hearing Obama's voice. He has a *beautiful* speaking voice, in my opinion, and I remember a sleepy thought of "Ahh, I could listen to this voice for hours." Later, I paid more attention to =what= he was saying in the campaign, but my first exposure to him was just the melody of his voice. I'd been interested in his books already, but when they were recorded by him, I couldn't resist. And with a long drive to and from the Bay Area, they were the perfect sound-track for a portion of my drives.

One major thought I had, while listening to his auto-biographical story "Dreams From my Father," is that I'm feeling more inspired to understand recent American and World History. It's shocking how little I know about history, especially when I participate in a history club, so to speak. But I *hated* history as a topic in school, and was quite proud of getting all my college-requirements for History from any other department OTHER than the History department. I'm starting to regret that reluctance, as I read (or listen to) books with peripheral historical content -- Obama's book, the social history of America in the knitting history book, the cultural history of the American Jewish experience through a book I'm reading about Yiddish -- none of these are "history books" per se, but I'm picking up historical content that I *never* knew before.

I also idly pondered the concept of inspiration. What is =my= personal story? If I wanted to be known for a book, what would it say? Certainly, pieces of my thoughts are captured in these journal entries, and I'm still trying to compile my journal entries in a back-up record, off the internet. But it's not the same as having written a book. What would I say if I wrote a book? I have a few friends who are authors, truly professional published authors. I have several friends who write regularly, and a few who write once a year for the "Write a Novel in a Month" challenge. And I have a couple of friends who tease me that I should write a book, something they usually say when we're brainstorming on how they can succeed in some venture, they're frustrated, and they've come to me for advice. I'm always surprised, when friends come to me for inspirational advice. I don't feel that special. I think I'm rather boring and common-sense oriented, with a lot of religious lay-training and boring faith thrown into the mix. I really don't think I've come up with anything that hasn't been said before. But, well, that's what I was thinking about, while being just generally impressed with "Dreams From my Father" as a book and as a recorded work.

I had a bizarre dream before waking up on Sunday morning, in which a celebrity picked me up to hang out with them and their friends, and we ended up at a party where all sorts of illicit things were going on that bothered me. It was one of those "your celebrity idols are normal people who probably would disappoint you in person" kind of dreams, not an exciting dream. And I was left with a horrible feeling like I needed to wash and scrub my hands or take a shower, immediately afterwards. The strangest, real-world thought afterwards was that I don't really need to read celebrity's personal journals or follow their twitter feeds, because I'm not actually one of their in-real-life friends. And sometimes the internet gives us access to a level of familiarity that's not accurate. (I haven't actually unsuscribed from the twitter feed in question, but I did have to remind myself I'm only watching as a fan, not as a casual acquaintance. Darn all my friends "in the industry" who make me feel one-degree closer than I really am!)

* * * * *

Today's Blessing That I'm Thankful For: Rain, relaxation, and free latte


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