About Good Looks - I shared this theory privately with a few friends, and have been thinking about sharing it here. I'd love to hear your thoughts on my theory.

You know the concept of rating people's looks on a scale of 1-10? There are some comedians who have joked that you should only date around your own number. There are songs and stories about how booze can make someone cuter than they are, etc. And I've heard people speculate about why a "hot girl" is dating a "schlub," or how there are several TV shows with a really cute wife who's married to a husband with a beer gut and an attitude.

I was thinking of all this, my recent battles against loneliness, and pondering the multitude of friends I know who are married or dating. I feel hard-pressed to think of one example where the guy is significantly cuter than the girl. In my own opinion, just superficially, I can think of several couples where I'd rank them the same number on the scale, and a couple where I might rank the girl 1 or 2 numbers cuter than the guy. But I cannot think of any where the guy is totally hot and the girl is just okay.

This is the thing that can make me feel depressed: I always like guys who are totally cute and several who were just downright hot, all of whom appear (on the surface) to be "out of my league."

Now of course, on a more humorous note, those of you who are my dear friends now on whom I've had crushes in the past, you can bask and preen in the knowledge that I probably consider you "very good looking" or possible even "completely hot" and even often "out of my league." Yes, take a bow, you're that cute. And (I suppose in some ways, sadly), you weren't attracted to me "in that way." Ah well. I'm exceedingly grateful for the friendships we now have instead. And in some ways, that's probably better. We weren't meant to be anyway. *wink*

But darn it. This sure can be depressing, if I'm not keeping a watchful eye out for my emotional state. *sigh*

Oh, and Another Thing - It is my opinion that my friends and family have blanket permission to warn me anything and keep me in line about anyone. I never want to endure what I did in my divorce, ever again. When I got divorced I heard several comments of, "We never liked him anyway," to which I would say, "Why didn't you say anything?" and they answered, "You were happy, we didn't want to change that."

Look. I'm full of all sorts of stupid self-delusion. So yes please, honest warnings are always welcome. I'm not promising that everything you say will be heeded, since some of you will have varying opinions. But to quote a traditional phrase around these parts, "I will take this under advisement." (Which means yes, please give me feedback.) *smooches*

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About Advice - A friend of mine was fired recently, and sent me notes and called me for advice. I felt good that I could counsel him occasionally, but I also know that I walk a tightrope in the world of honesty versus diplomacy -- I've heard some input from the other side of the story, and his anger might not be justifiable (he may have brought this on himself). But when I'm talking with him directly, I have to balance listening and empathy with friendship, honesty, and good business sense.

It makes me ponder when some other friends have asked me for advice in the past, a couple of whom have said, "You should write a book." Well, I have no delusions that I have anything unique to say, other than the personal contentment I have writing my journal. And watching what my author-friends go through, writing books, um, no thank you (right now). But I did have a small laugh to myself recently, when I thought about possible book titles. You know, like when people idly come up with the "name of their band" or the "name of their album" without any plans to form a band or record an album?

If I were to write either an autobiography (ha! boring!) or an inspirational / advice sort of book, two nice titles might be "More String, Better" or "You Are Smarter Than String" -- phrases used in several circles of friends of mine. *grin*

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Finally, Some House-Cleaning - I'd loaned my loveseat to some friends, when they had no couch. They got their own, asked if they should just send my loveseat to Goodwill, and I said "heavens no, let's bring it back to my house."

While it had been loaned out, we had this giant open space in the living room. I grew (abnormally?) fond of the open space. It was perfect for staging giant piles of camping equipment, before and after events. It helped me serve dinner to 12 people. It has been great of Halloween parties, tea parties, and baby showers. It's awesome for spreading out fabric for costuming.

The love seat came home and immediately I needed a different place to put it --> NOT in the open space in the living room.

My bedroom has been filled with paper clutter in piles -- ever growing piles -- for just forever. But the loveseat was going in my bedroom and under the window, gosh darnit! So Friday of Thanksgiving weekend, I moved piles and boxes and bookcases and more piles of papers and books, leaving a huge space to bring the couch in. I momentarily broke down in tears and swearing in the kitchen at one point, for letting it get this bad, but my roomie made me laugh a little and I got over it. She also came to the rescue and wrestled 2 doors off their hinges, breaking through years of apartment paint over the hinges and screws.

The couch fit neatly under the window. I vacuumed dust like never before. I washed three years of grit out of the window sill. (Gee, it's a white windwsill, not black?) Then I dumped everything off my art-supply stash bookcase, one shelf at a time, relabeling everything and getting it sorted back into categories.

Then I dumped everything out of the bottom of a large book-filled bookcase, wrangled it 4 inches to the left, put everything back. Wrangled the crendenza that used to be under the window into the new space on the wall near my bed. Put the small bookcase up on top of the credenza (it fit! yippee!), and filled the bookcase up neatly with all my office supplies.

Two days later, I managed to ruthlessly cull more of the clutter, and find my desk over by the tv again. Repaired the vacuum cleaner, put the rug back, straighened two tables filled with clutter. The next day I cleared several more piles, found all the books everywhere, returned some to the correct bookcases, found the ones that were new and need to be catalogued on LibraryThing first.

Overall, I've tossed about 4-5 trashbags of junk so far. I've also found priceless things that were just jostled around on all the flat surfaces, and have reduced the active piles to probably one third of the original mess.

There's nothing quite like pulling everything down, to make you put it all away neatly.

Since then (gosh it's been about two weeks now?), I've managed to keep the room picked up regularly, find projects when I needed them, and even put away the projects when I was done with them. Last weekend, I needed a giant bag full of spinning supplies. Yesterday, it was so easy to put them all away neatly and quickly. Laundry has been simple to put away, and I'm starting to eye my closet for the "get rid of clothing I never wear." A few urgent projects that had been misplaced have been found, and put in the "DO IT NOW!" locations again. Who knows? By New Year's, I might actually have a handle on my home clutter. Wow.

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Today's Blessing That I'm Thankful For: Honest friends. Thanks, Elizabeth. Love you!

P.S. Yes, I will be chatting later about the fun I had on Sunday at a musical gathering. *grin*