Some crochet first- still working on squares-more about the yarn. The person who picked it up for me, bought it at a thrift shop- 2 orange and 2 brown and 1 black skeins-all with the store label of "Zayre's". Anyone else out there remember that store? That was the store where I bought the very first yarns that I made my very first afghan that is still in use after 30 years!! Anyway, I decided to make 3 row solid color granny squares out of the orange and brown yarn, then make the fourth row black and a joining row. Still working it all out-don't know how many squares I'll get out of this bit of yarn, but so far I have 18 4 inch squares out of 1 skein of orange. I have to look in my stash to see what I can use to match-I have some within easy reach. I may be able to make it into a triangle shawl.(I think).

I called my sister last night. I told her about my experiences of Sunday. We discussed researching our birthmother; My dad had tried to convince her to get the records unsealed before he died 10 years ago, but no luck. When I asked why not, she admitted to being afraid, when I asked what she was afraid of- she said of being rejected again. I never knew that she had felt rejected. We never discussed how being put up for adoption had made us feel. It was not encouraged back then; we were expected to feel grateful to have parent. Don't get me wrong we were, but, one set of parents had "gotten rid of us" and that does leave marks deep inside. If those marks are not address continuously growing up, and addressed appropriately, trouble will occur. We were lucky-the things we did we didn't cause harm to ourselves or others, but it could've gone the other way too easily. The upshot of the conversation is that in April, for my birthday, I am going to Massachusettes and we are going to court to get the records unsealed. Then we will see what will happen.

In our talking last night, we discussed what the adoption paperwork said about our birth father. He was a short order cook. But I swear my paperwork said something about him being in the Army or Navy-she didn't remember hers saying that. I need to find mine. Either that, or the social worker told my father that. And he repeated it often enough that I remember it. We will see what happens.