It's Friday, and I am back again.

I am on prednisone and vicodin. Doc said she really didn't want to go this route since these are the strongest meds, however 5 weeks is long enough. Yup. At least this morning, I didn't need the vicodin as pain med, so I took one of my older meds-less powerful, but not addictive and won't cause bounce back headache. Prednisone does cause me to gain weight, so I will be watching for that-eating just what I have been. But so far so good.

I went to marriage counseling with B last night. It was an interesting session. The MC admitted that when she first met us, she was really scared. She had strong doubts that we would be together for very long. She said that we both have been working hard and have come a long way. Now comes the hardest part for B. He has to do more work, or all the work we have done together won't last.

This is where it comes to the point I have been waiting for. She gave him exact details. And this is how it goes. Daily he has to give himself positive affirmations in the mirror and repeat them throughout the day. He has to read scripture. He has to notice the good things he does during the day. And he has to countertalk his negative self talk with his affirmations.

He has been blaming himself for my migraines. And when I couldn't talk seriously about the budget, because my brain just wasn't able to work around the pain, he blamed himself more which put himself into a deeper negative cycle.

When MC asked who could he talk to when I wasn't available, B really couldn't answer without alot of coaxing. Finally she reminded him that he could call and leave a voice mail. She would listen to the voice mail-she would not call back, but it would give her ideas to help him during our next visit.

I know we are calling this MC, and in many ways it is, but in many ways this is therapy for B. Therapy that he wouldn't get or couldn't get on his own. A trick, no. A neccesity.

Our marriage is a strong partnership that is getting stronger. The blaming and sarcasm is just about gone. When I think I hear it, I ask him. There are times when I react as if it was the 'old B', and he catches it and asks me what I heard. And then asks what he actually said. But it is so much more calm. Peace reigns in the apartment.

Even the fact that we will not be able to afford to go to IL in Sept as planned, because of the amount of time I have been off of work, is not causing an argument. There is disappointment since we both wanted to see out family. But not the loud, angry, hurtful tones that last year would have come out. Right now we are more worried about paying bills and staying on top of things. And you know what, kids will understand. It is part of life.