Dark Horse

I’ve had an especially good week home this summer. Emma is surpassing what I thought she could do this summer already. Blue is definitely part of the family no matter how quirky he can be. Carbon and Pao are here at home greeting me every time I pull into the driveway or walk out the door.

13 years ago I made the choice not necessarily by my own devices to teach and go pro. It wasn’t for some higher grand purpose – I needed a way to support my horse habit and I was tired of helping everyone for free. Here I am now with a flourishing business, clients I love and four horses.

Today on my way out to the barn to ride and do what I was thinking would be load up my mare and go to the show grounds I sort of got sad. Usually when I am overcome with an emotion I try to pinpoint what is causing it or where it is coming from. In this case it was missing a day alone with my horses…

I have a horse finally that equals Carbon in talent, maybe someday will surpass it. She is a horse that people wait their whole lives for, both in breeding and in body. Yet – today I choose to tack her up, lightly hack her and go for a trail ride alone. While I was on the ride w birds singing, my dog bounding ahead and her lovely walk lulling me into that blissful state that horses give me I realized at that moment that I could easily never set foot in a show ring ever again… And I would be okay with that decision…

It happened tonight again while I was lounging on Carbon bareback, in my shorts and barefeet while he grazed on my lawn. His back, neck, ears, and legs have been familiar to me for almost 19 years now and he and I have traveled some distance both in this world and in the surreal dark deep waters of my psyche. He was the horse that helped me choose to leave the world of competition – he led me outside the arena to a whole new world of horsemanship.

All this hard work that I’ve put into my training program through the years and here I am contemplating never pitting myself against anyone else… Just setting my own bar for how far I can go with my horses.
I will never stop teaching – not ever. It has made me a far better rider to teach others. But perhaps deep down, my mare and I will ride in different arenas… The jury is still out on that one…

Dark Horse The life and times of a meditative horse trainer. I'm a second generation born and raised Alaskan. I've very proud of that, my roots are here. While I want to see as much of the world as I can, I want to raise my children here. I'm a dedicated student of the horse, of life and I love to learn. I try to leave no stone unturned in my life. Nothing is good if taken at just face value there is always more, to people, an animal, a thought, a dream. I'm an intensity junky, I live my life with passion as if every action were my very last, and I love the colors that this passion has brought to me. It's my hope to share this small window of myself with my readers. If you surfed in please make yourself at home and stay a while, if your one of my loved one's who are here, I love you for all you have educated me in to make my life this amazing.
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Previous Entry :: Next Entry Read/Post Comments (0) Share on Facebook		2009-06-01 8:23 PM Some days... I wonder... I’ve had an especially good week home this summer. Emma is surpassing what I thought she could do this summer already. Blue is definitely part of the family no matter how quirky he can be. Carbon and Pao are here at home greeting me every time I pull into the driveway or walk out the door. 13 years ago I made the choice not necessarily by my own devices to teach and go pro. It wasn’t for some higher grand purpose – I needed a way to support my horse habit and I was tired of helping everyone for free. Here I am now with a flourishing business, clients I love and four horses. Today on my way out to the barn to ride and do what I was thinking would be load up my mare and go to the show grounds I sort of got sad. Usually when I am overcome with an emotion I try to pinpoint what is causing it or where it is coming from. In this case it was missing a day alone with my horses… I have a horse finally that equals Carbon in talent, maybe someday will surpass it. She is a horse that people wait their whole lives for, both in breeding and in body. Yet – today I choose to tack her up, lightly hack her and go for a trail ride alone. While I was on the ride w birds singing, my dog bounding ahead and her lovely walk lulling me into that blissful state that horses give me I realized at that moment that I could easily never set foot in a show ring ever again… And I would be okay with that decision… It happened tonight again while I was lounging on Carbon bareback, in my shorts and barefeet while he grazed on my lawn. His back, neck, ears, and legs have been familiar to me for almost 19 years now and he and I have traveled some distance both in this world and in the surreal dark deep waters of my psyche. He was the horse that helped me choose to leave the world of competition – he led me outside the arena to a whole new world of horsemanship. All this hard work that I’ve put into my training program through the years and here I am contemplating never pitting myself against anyone else… Just setting my own bar for how far I can go with my horses. I will never stop teaching – not ever. It has made me a far better rider to teach others. But perhaps deep down, my mare and I will ride in different arenas… The jury is still out on that one… Read/Post Comments (0) Previous Entry :: Next Entry Back to Top