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The Marlon Brando Show
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(cue music)

Premium Choice Doctor Smooth Secret Recipe Soda Presents...


From Hollywood!




It's The Marlon Brando Show. Starring Marlon Brando.


Marlon's guest's tonight:


Actor Matt Damon!


Actress Susan Sarandon!


Musical guests... Snake Oil.

With Sy Henderson and The Premium Choice Doctor Smooth Secret Recipe Soda Marlon Brando Orchestra.


I'm Leonard Peltier



And now MARLON BRANDO!!!!!


MB: Thank you ladies and gentlemen. Thank you.




MB: No, no. You're too kind. Thank you ladies and gentlemen.
Well, welcome ladies and gentlemen, everyone here in the studio and all of you at home, it's great to be here in the new year. It's great to be here in 2004. I made a New year's resolution. Did you make a resolution, Leonard?


LP: Yes. Yes sir.


MB: Me too. I resolved to do this show better than ever, ladies and gentlemen.




MB: No, I mean it. And now they got us doing double duty. Did you hear about this, Leonard?


LP: Yes. Yes Sir. Yes.


MB: Then what's it about, Leonard. What do I mean 'double duty'?


LP: Yes! Ha ha. Yes sir.


MB: You're not listening, are you? You're upset aren't you, Len?


LP: Yes. Yes sir.


MB: What's wrong. You're not even listening to me.


LP: Ha ha. Yes sir. Yes!


MB: Peltier. What's wrong? Spit it out, Leonard.


LP: Well, that's what you want isn't it? Just 'Yes and ha ha'.


MB: That's not true Len. You're my only friend on this show. Everyone else is my enemy.


LP: I'm your Indian. That's what you want. Well, how's this? "Me make 'em heep big trouble for white man."


MB: Don't do that Leonard. That's degrading to me, to you, to your people. Nobody wants those racist sterotypes to come back. I've spent years, half my life, working for the movement, for the Native people. You disrespect me, and you disrepect yourself when you talk that way.


LP: Ahh, I'm sorry Marlon.


MB: Are we friends?


LP: Yes. You are right. I apologize.


MB: Yeah. Good. Because you make 'em heep big wampum ehh chief?


LP: Yes. Yes. Ha ha. Yes.


MB: Yeah, Kemosabe. You big em chief.


LP: Yes! Ha ha.


MB: Matt Damon.




MD: Thanks. Hi, Marlon Brando. Gee. It's an honor.


MB: What are you? Maybe 12 years old?


MD: I'm 27.


MB: You are a little kid. And you wrote that "Good Will Baking" thing?


MD: Hunting. Yeah. With Ben Affleck.


MB: He's your little pal. And you and Flack wrote this thing and won an Academy Award?


MD: Yeah we wrote it and I starred in it and we won the Oscar for screenplay.




MB: Amazing. When I was a kid I was a dreamer. I was dreaming all the time. I had my head in the clouds. No awards or writing big movies. Just dreaming.


MD: Oh. I dream and I dreamed a lot before...


MB: Don't ruin this for me.


MD: I...


MB: No, It's alright. You're a good kid. And you got a movie now about siamese twins and it's done by those whores who did "Dumb And Dumber"?


MD: Yeah, it's a funny comedy by the Farrely's...


MB: You are slumming, kid.


MD: No..


MB: You are slumming like a two bit whore. Susan Sarandon.




SS: Thank you. Thank you. Hello Mister Brando. Hello Matt.


MB: You wear your heart on your sleeve.


SS: Wow! Well when I see injustice and someone like George W. Bush destroying everything this country stand s for..


MB: Look. Susan, I'm not accusing, I'm asking. You wear your heart on your sleeve?


SS: When I see something truly wrong...


MB: Answer the question sweetheart. I agree with you. I beat the crap out of Rumsfeld a couple of weeks ago.




MB: Yeah, thanks. Just answer the qusetion; do you wear your heart on your sleeve?


SS: Yes, I guess I do.


MB: And thank God you do...




MB: More people ought to speak their minds no matter what.
Now you're not married. You're not married to who?


SS: Tim Robbins.


MB: Baseball boy.


SS (laugh) Yeah well we met doing "Bull Durham"




MB: I love that one. You guys fuck in that. Really good. On the furniture and stuff. You fuck great in that.I love the way you fuck in that one.
How about you Affleck? Didn't she fuck great in that movie?


MD: Matt Damon. Yeah you did. I mean I love you. I love you, I love Tim Robbins. I love you, Marlon.


MB: I fucking love everyone. We're having a fucking love fest. We're out of time. Good night.


LP: Join Marlon next week on his new day and time
Tuesdays right here on "Silly Thinking".
This has been a Mar-Bran, Jim-Far Production in association with Doug-Woug, and Harpo Productions.


Enjoy a light refreshing Premium Choice Doctor Smooth Secret Recipe Soda today. Have you been rated?

This blog was recorded.


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