Silly Thinking

And now a special announcement from "Silly Thinking".

Here is Vice President in charge of programming affairs Sir Lord Harrington Winterbottom.


SLHW: Good morning Silly Thinkers I am Vice President in charge of programming affairs Sir Lord Harrington Winterbottom speaking for the board of directors, staff, and management here at "Silly Thinking".

Most of you tuned in today for the "Celebrinet" program with Sy Gold. You were prepared to be whisked off to the land of show business and celebrity with Sy Gold's familiar "Hi ya kiddies!"

But that won't be happening. As some of you may know our own dear sweet Sy is lying in a hospital bed in the Fajita Straights writhing in pain, unconcious, dead to the world, in a paralyzing coma after his tragic boating accident over the Christmas time holidays. Poor devil.

It has left us all here at "Silly Thinking" in a bit of a muddle. We are in a bit of a pickle as you Americans say. We can't go on with the "Celebrinet" program without Sy Gold unless we know he is dead and he is not. We certainly can't cancel the program with this American icon of filth staring up at the ceiling in a third rate backwater hospital in a third world all but forgotten country.

So what to do with our Thursday slot until Sy's dead or returns to life from his paralyzing accident? That's the problem we all face here with you at good old "S.T."

So, starting next week, you will see a tremendous collection of special events from around the world which will be shown until Sy Gold dies, returns, or we feel that a significant amount of time passes and we quietly dump "Celebrinet" and move on with our lives and yours. The show must go on old bean. That's the bottom line of this troubling muddle.

So join us every Thursday for our "Silly Thinking World of Special Events" beginning next Thursday.

In the mean time I hope you enjoy today's classic reprint of a program that won the "Best Posting" Award at last week's "Silly Thinking" Awards ceremony held at the Oregon Zoo for some god forsaken reason.

It's the "Penguin, Mammoth, and Monkey Show".
Thank you for your attention.

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POSTED BY BEN AND EMMA LAIN

Hello everyone. I can see that there are a lot of people here today. And everyone eats candy, because it's Christmas. Emma ate a candy cane, and then she threw it, and I got it. So it's my candy now. I want it to be snowing, and it is snowing. Whoever likes snow please raise your hand. I like snow. And Ben and Emma like snow. Oh, what a day. Oh, what a day. Oh, what a day.


Hello. What is that Penguin doing?
Oh. Hi, Penguin.


Hello.


I happen to love snow as well. I love snow because I'm a mammoth.


I love snow because I'm a Penguin. And Penguins love snow because they're Penguins. Am I wrong or am I right?


You're probably right, but I don't know because I'm not a penguin. So, uh...penguin?


What?


How are you today?


I'm fine.
Mr. Mammoth, I want to tell you that I live on the bottom of the Earth. Did you know that? Oh, and could you watch where you step, because you're so big and you might step on me. Oh, and I want you to know that I have a candy cane, and Mammoth I can see that there are lots of people over there, and I have a candy cane, and, uh...will you move away from me because you're scaring me to death.


I'm sorry, but I can't help how big I am. I'll try not to step on you.


Can I spin around and around in a circle? Boing. Boing. Boing.


I just want to say that, sure, you can do that. You may.


I want you to know that I'm on a ship sailing in the sea. In my mind. Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Penguin. Penguin. Penguin. Life is but a dream.
Penguin is a winged one.
Even though I can't fly, I can fly. Oh what a day, oh what a day, oh what a day.


Look. There is a monkey!


Oh, hello. I'm on a leash. And I want to row the boat with the Penguin. Oh, but I wish it was sunny.


I like the snow. Oh what a day. Oh. Oh. Oh. Is that sillly enough? I'm actually pretty stressed out by that Penguin. She's basically crazy. Can't you see why I'm stressed out?


Oh. Oh! I want to fly too! I have to warn you that I'm a moneky. I want a stick with bark and I could climb on it. Trees are my favorite. Ho, ho, ho. I live on a tree. I wish I could go. I'm all chained up, so I'm not able to go. I see a monster. My stick. Where is my stick?!


I'm just a mammoth, not a monster.


Oh, Missus Monkey, I want you to know that that mammoth could squash us flat. Watch out monkey!


Arggh!


Can I have some of that candy cane?


No! You can't have any! It's mine! Oh, oh, oh!

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Jim Farris Presents "Silly Thinking With Douglas Lain". It really is all here!