Silly Thinking

This is an STNews Special!



Election Night Preview.

Here, from ST Election Headquarters is chief meteorologist and Senior Fellow at Fellows and Gal’s University, Connie Chung.


CC: Good Morning and welcome to our Election Night preview. With the polls showing a dead heat in almost every state as we go into the final twenty four hours of campaigning the election of 2004 looks to be one for the history books.
Tomorrow we will have numerous election reports, updates, and breaking news reports.
Helping me on the broadcasts will be our entire ST news team, Shaznaaza Shaznaazz from Iraq, our own Bill Pullman here in the studio with me, and Jim Farris out west.
Lets start with Sha Na Na.
Shanie, do you think the Osama Ben Laden tape, released late Friday after I went home, will have an impact on the campaign?



SS: Connie Iraq is Osama country. Whatever happens, your streets will run red with imperialist blood and, in Iraq there will be dancing in the streets.
I mean, that’s what the word on the street is.


CC: So do you think Osama will vote for Kerry or Bush?



SS: He’s undecided, Connie. I understand he likes Kerry’s plan for school lunches but doesn’t agree that ketchup is a vegetable. And he thinks if Kerry looses his house will run red from the imperialist ketchup. Connie…


CC: Interesting Shazzolla. Bill Pullman, the man who played the President in the movie “Independence Day”, what will you be up to tomorrow night?


BP: Well Connie, I will be analyzing the numbers and jumping to premature conclusions and covering for you during potty breaks, as you call them.


CC: I do call them potty breaks Bill Pullman.


BP: I know. I just said that.


CC: Kiss me.


BP: No.


CC: Jim Farris, out west, will be looking at the race on the pacific coast, out west.


JF: Yes Connie, thank you. As the race narrows to toss up states like Hawaii and Arizona, I will look at how the west influences the election.


CC: And how does it influence the election, Jim?


JF: I don’t know, it has happened yet. But when it does I will look at it.


CC: And what about that damned volcano?


JF: Undecided Connie. It wants to wait till after the election to blow.


CC: I know how that feels, don’t I Bill Pullman?


BP: Oh my God…


CC: Watch ST for the best election coverage. For Princes Shaazzina, Alien President Man, and Volcano Boy, this is Connie Chung.
Be seeing you... tomorrow.

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