I see all the leaves start turning yellow, it reminds me of myself. the youth has gone, I am now a withering leaf, start falling and I dont know where I will hit the ground.

there have been endelss nightmares and unexplained pain. chest pain, lower back pain and headache.

I took an online test to see if I am depressed, the restult was written in red letters that I am suicidal and I need to call my doctor or 911 immediately.

No, I am not going to make any phone calls. I think of death often, but I am not going to kill myself even I dont have much to live on.

Its 1 AM, I cant sleep, I wish a ghost would come to visit, so we could start a dialogue. its better a malicious & evil ghost comes, so we could fight, I could take all of my angers & disappointment out on the evil ghost...