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Scientological Zombification

Okay, this scares me a little bit:

Katie Holmes appears in a wedding dress on the new issue of W Magazine. And once again, it's full of Tom and Katie Oodles and oodles of love.

And Scientology.

Ack!

Check out this excerpt from CNN:

Cruise, 42, and Holmes, 26, became engaged last month after the "War of the Worlds" star proposed at the Eiffel Tower in Paris. Holmes, who co-stars in "Batman Begins," has said she's taking lessons in Cruise's faith of Scientology.

"I'm learning to celebrate my own spirit, my own being," she says.

Well hell, there's nothing wrong with that. So tell us Katie, how does one go about doing that? Is there a course? A lecture? A guide?

During the W interview, the actress wouldn't part from Jessica Rodriguez, who is described as her "Scientologist chaperone." Rodriguez's role in Holmes' life remains vague, though Rodriguez says they're "just best friends" since meeting around the time Holmes met Cruise.

"You adore him," Rodriguez told Holmes when the actress was at a loss for words to describe her love.

Oh, not a guide. A walking, talking press agent! Wow, you know, that's a great idea! More religions could use the help of a good press agent.

"You adore him," Rodriguez told Holmes when the actress was at a loss for words to describe her love.

Not to forget their day jobs, Holmes says she wants to make a movie with Cruise.

"That would be such an honor," she says. "Such an honor."

ALL HAIL L. RON! ALL HAIL TOM!

Okay folks, L. Ron Hubbard was a kind'a kooky science fiction writer who lost a few of his marbles near the end there. But C'mon! Please! You might as well follow a religion started by me!

Hey wait a minute. There might be something in that . . .

PLEASE IGNORE THE ENTIRETY OF THIS POST. THE WRITER WAS NOT JOSEPH PAUL HAINES AND ANYONE STATING THE CONTRARY SHALL BE SUED INTO OBLIVION.

I think I'm getting the hang of this. Huh.

The complete interview can be found here.

Go on, have a giggle.

Joseph Haines, signing off from The Edge of The Abyss.



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