...you go to the dentist and start to unbutton your shirt because you have been showing everyone your breasts for so long.

....you see a newborn baby head and get jealous of their hair

....you're ecstatic over nose hair

.....you have at least 3 throw up bags in your nightstand drawer

.....you have to run back upstairs for a hat before answering the door

.....you realize rain rolls right off your bald head into your eyes with no hair to stop it

.....it takes you less time than your husband to get ready.

.....you can recite the fine print on your health insurance policy like the Gettysburg address

......you have to ask your nine year old to open the charger slot on your cell phone and camera because you don't have any fingernails

...... you can recycle books you just read because you can't remember anything that happened in the plot

.......people ask your name you promptly state your date of birth, address and the fact that you are not pregnant.