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League of Excruciating Gentleman

Oh.. Oh.. if only I had a command of the English language strong enough to describe the human waste that was scooped up and shaped into this movie.

I would say that there are spoilers in this entry, but seriously how can you spoil something so rotten.

Beyond the horrible mangling of a group of dark characters...

The characters are introduced to this new machine designed by Dr. Nemo... something he calls an "automobile." Ok, that's fine. Nemo is supposed to be ahead of his time and we're getting close to the time of cars, so it's all good. Of course... then "Agent Sawyer" all of a sudden knows how to drive it and Alan Quartermaine refers to it as a "car." *shakes head* You know... a story can be bad... acting can be bad... but when the screenwriter forgets that they are in the past and this new invention isn't something everyone knows about... it shows how stupid and inexperienced they are. Now, let's assume the screenwriter is just too stupid to be fixed. When the line is delivered by Sean Connery, an intelligent and experienced actor, you would expect him to correct it and say "automobile".

This kind of thing happens throughout the movie, characters using slang and refering to concepts that are modern day ideas. *sigh* Come on people, a shitty plot is one thing, but can you at least give us dialogue that isn't OBVIOUSLY from a different time period. I don't want to hear King Arthur talking about plastic surgery.

Then of course we have to deal with navigating the Nautilaus through the canals of Venice... all the way to the center of the city. It's like a third of a mile long, people! How the hell can it turn corners!?

If you are INVINCIBLE and are ever going to infiltrate a group of people and betray them... can you please AVOID telling one of the group the singular way to kill you? I mean, if you are invincible.. you might want to be able to stay that way until the people you are betraying have been defeated. Just a thought.

All of the characters in the comic were dark and flawed heroes. They removed EVERY bit of that... Nemo is sorry for his past actions? Mr. Hyde wants to help save people? Whatever..

I could keep going... but it's upsetting me just how bad this movie is... I have to go.

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