I just had a potential pseudo epiphany about myself.

I was reading and decided that the author of what I was reading was bitter. They weren't just excited about a topic, they were mad, angry, upset and really bitter. There was just so much negative emotional energy behind what they were saying.

So somehow, in my mind, this connected with Valentine's Day. Probably because it's coming up here in, oh, the day after tomorrow.

I hate Valentine's Day. Now, I don't mind that all this chocolate is brought out during February; that's cool. But the day itself, and the concept of itself? I'm just not all that in to. I tend to refer to it as VD day. Anyway, having been reared Catholic, I'm also aware that we're essentially celebrating the matyrdom of a man.

Maybe I'm a cynic. Or maybe I'm just bitter.

I really can't think of a nice, memorable Valentine's Day, though I can think of several unpleasant ones. Some really crummy days in my life have taken place on VD day.

Anyway, it feels sort of obligatory. Sort of like if you're in a relationship with someone, you'd better do something for them. If I do something for someone, it's because I want to, but when it's the other way around it begins to sort of feel like they feel obligated. And that certainly sucks.

Am I messed up or what?



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In terms of this coming VD day? Rice said, "You want to do something for Valentine's Day?"

Now, it would be cool to hang out with him and spend some time with him, but I also know he simply doesn't have the time; he has too much work to do and a considerable looming deadline, which he increased by taking some time off for to spend a few hours with Avadore and I on our birthdays earlier in the month.

I pretty much told him not to worry about it.

But I might eat some chocolate. I like my chocolate a bit bitter.