Electric Grandmother

Maggie Croft's Personal Journal young spirit, wire-wrapped
spark electric grandmother
arc against the night

-- Lon Prater
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i am home

The FIL invited me to stay longer. I think the MIL is relieved we left. I think we'd burned her out pretty hard core -- she was pretty grumpy today and was ragging on about everyone but Rice and the kids and I. Such a busy weekend. She had to be tired.

I don't think it helped that every time she asked me to go shopping today (Black Friday) I turned her down. I told her last night I wasn't going anywhere on Black Friday, no matter what. I guess she thought I'd change my mind. I told her she could go, not to worry, we'd be fine, but still she stayed with the kids and I (Rice was at work, the FIL disappeared early in the morning until just before dinner), rearing to get out and be busy. I think she felt we were guests and she had to be a good hostess, which is thoughtful of her.

I developed a really bad headache at some point during my MIL's "discussion" of how all sorts of people were messing their lives. For the life of me I could not lose it. My body was tense, and I was exhausted. I'd been on the road, traveling home for about twenty minutes, when my headache left and my body relaxed.

This seems bad to me. I really am going to have to figure out how to deal with this.

And it makes me sad. We'd been getting along so well, since the fall of 2004, and now, starting at some point this fall, things are starting to go back to the way they used to be.

But I am glad to be home. Tomorrow I will cook some lovely things ... I will make Rice a lemon meringue pie. I will make it a happy day. I tried to make this weekend a happy one, telling myself I'd vented here, and I was going to go in and have a great time. And it wasn't so bad. But obviously, somewhere, my body disagreed.

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