Here I sit in the Willis Computer Lab., trying to get into the right frame of mind to write a poem for my poetry class tomorrow. I like to spend a little time at whatever computer I find myself sitting behind, just settling down and coming to grips with whatever mood I'm in. If I'm feeling a bit antsy, I'll spend a lot of time browsing different internet sites until I come down off of whatever high has taken over my body, whether it be caffeine or other.

I also like to spend a little time getting my fingers and brain ready to write, by writing something...anything. Usually an e-mail will do just fine, but sometimes I find myself writing something in my journal. Hello journal.

I don't like the first initial phase of writing. I've always hated the feeling of sitting at a blank computer screen, with no words on it. By far, my favorite part of writing is the editing process. I love to look at what I've written, and tear it to shreds. I like the feeling of turning some mediocre shit, into slightly less mediocre shit.

It's also difficult at times to write when I know that someone is going to be reading my work. I tend to find myself falling into traps of writing for an audience instead of writing for myself. I find that when I write for myself, an audience usually ends up liking my piece anyway.

I really should just buckle down and get a computer at my apartment. I really need something where I can be close to my music and in a familiar setting. Although I don't mind writing in a computer lab, sometimes I don't like to write when there are two frat boys sitting on either side of me. Call me crazy, but I just don't think that they're my target audience. I don't think that your average frat boy is going to give two shits about anything that I would write for my poetry class.

Of course, I'm carrying the assumption that the two frat boys sitting on either side of me give a rat's ass what I'm writing in the first place. If they did, they'd be reading what I'm writing right now. Maybe I should test it out.

"Hey guy to my left in the red shirt, Your mother sucks eggs."

Nothing.

He's still looking through the ESPN website for the Yankees score. That's cool I guess. What the old expression? Isn't there an old expression that we shouldn't spend as much time thinking that there are other people thinking about us? Oh crap, I think he's looking over here.

quick...

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Had to get that part of what I wrote off the screen.

Oh well...the juices are flowing now. Maybe I should go write.

I'm going in. Wish me luck.

matt out