My Rolling Stone Interview
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My Rolling Stone Interview!
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Rolling Stone: So what's new in the wide world of Matt?
Matt: Why, I'm glad you asked. You may need to be more specific than that.
RS: How did your semester end up?
M: Very well. I am officially finished with all of my classes. Although I haven't received my grades yet, I am pretty certain that I have 3 A's and 1 (scratches chin and thinks momentarily)
RS: Uncertain about a particular grade?
M: Well, I'm not entirely sure what I got in my Social Research class. But if I were high rollin' it in Vegas, I'd put the 100 dollar chip on "B" and the 50 dollar chip on "C."
RS: That's great.
M: Thank you! I can't say I really worked all that hard for it.
RS: You're just being modest.
M: (shrugs and smiles)
RS: How did your writing assigments for your Short Stories class end up?
M: They ended up great, considering that I am relatively new to the short story writing game. My first story was about a young boy witnessing his favorite cinema close down, so that the town can make way for a new Megaplex.
RS: That sounds really interesting.
M: I really like the story, but some of the mechanical stuff needs to be worked on over the Christmas break. I also need to work on my second story over the break as well. It's a bit...problematic.
RS: How is that?
M: Well, I tried to write a story about a young poor child in the 1960's, who damages the houses of the rich people who moved him out of his old neighborhood. It ended up being about a boy who gets chased into the woods by two other boys, and they all end up getting lost. They all end up relying on one another to make it out alive.
RS: Well, what's complicated about that?
M: Well, they get chased by a large boar, who ends up brutally killing one of the boys.
RS: Hmmmmm....
M: Yeah, exactly. I then tried to tie it all back to my belief of modern warfare, particularly the Vietnam War, represented with a young poor child, is helping rich children out of the woods. Wow, that sentence didn't make any sense. Regardless, it really became more complicated than I had originally intended.
RS: Going to work on that one?
M: You know it. But I'm also going to use the skills that I picked up with those two stories to write some more light hearted and humorous stuff.
RS: Can you give us a teaser of what's in store?
M: I'd like to write a story about a terminally ill person's last day on earth before he committs suicide.
RS: Sounds pleasant.
M: No, I know it sounds rather morbid. But I'm going to write it in such a way that it's really funny, somewhat tragic, and hopefully uplifting. It'll be fun to write.
RS: We're looking forward to it.
M: -winks and gives the thumbs up to the interviewer-
RS: How are you handling the end of the election year? Are you still disappointed? What are your general thoughts? In thirty words or less "Soap Box Boy."
M: *laughs* Oh I don't know. I don't even watch "The Daily Show" much anymore.
RS: Why's that? I use "The Daily Show" as my daily source of Political Nutrition. It's good brain food.
M: I know, I know. But part of the humor of "The Daily Show," or at least for liberal leaning people, relied on the belief that maybe this word jumbling President of ours would not be in office after November 2nd. So it was easier to laugh at the stuff he would say. Now after the election, it almost seems as if we're navigating our way through some kind of Shakespearian-lite tragedy. Where the walls seem more closed off than ever, and the door is dead bolted shut.
RS: Go on.
M: Well, I don't know. It all just seems kinda hopeless for the liberal side of the coin at the moment. When we had Clinton, he really seemed like he catered to the Republicans a lot. I don't see Bush catering to the liberals in the same way Clinton did to conservatives. But I think this whole election was about what brand you're wearing. If Bush, hadn't been Bush, and was instead some political dweeb like...
RS: Bill Frist.
M: Perfect. Yeah, if Bush weren't Bush and were instead someone like Bill Frist, Kerry would have smoked him like a cheap cigar. Let's face it, as much as liberals despise the man, he is the best name brand there is. Well, maybe not as good as a Kennedy, but the Bush Dynasty makes the Kennedy Dynasty look like the Clampetts. The Bushes are, two Presidents, two governors if you remember that Dubya was once a governor, and an 8 year Vice Presidency. The Kennedy's are what, one President, two assasinations, and a drunken dive off a bridge.
RS: But where do liberals go from here?
M: That's a good question. I think Dean could be the savior of the Democratic Party. As fiery as he is, he is exactly what the Democrats need. The Democrats do not know how to win. They're up against the ropes, getting their soft heads beat the hell in. They moved center with Clinton and lost the election. They moved center with Gore/Lieberman and lost. They moved more center in 2002. Lost. Kerry was pretty liberal, but by then it's too late, the party is more centered than a Buddhist monk. And Richard Reid, the new Democratic minority, and I stress that last word heavily, is talking of moving even *further* right. If people want Republicans, then that's what they'll vote for. Dean can change that, or can at the very least give us a fighting chance. If the Dems move further right, then it's 2000 and Ralph Nader all over again with the liberals jumping ship for someone who better suits their interests.
RS: Seems somewhat hopeless for the Democrats.
M: Well, one thing we have working for us is that the Republicans have boxed themselves in. By catering to the far right branches of their party, they have no choice but to run someone as conservative as Bush. Guiliani, McCain, even Schwarzennegger if they get the amendment passed, are pretty liberals on social issues. Do you think the same conservatives who put Bush in office will vote for an openly pro-choice and homosexual rights candidate like Guiliani or Schwarzennegger?
RS: Hell no.
M: (laughs) Hell no is right. And once again, I point to the name brand thing. Let them run a Bill Frist or another lame duck that they have waiting in the wings. But the only question is, whether there will be a substantial Democratic Party to take advantage while they're vulnerable. Will the Millenium Falcon show up, or will the Empire blow up Yavin because Han Solo is too busy appeasing Jabba the Hutt.
RS: Ooh, good analogy. On that, let's change topics. I'm sure you've see "The Incredibles" by now and have seen the new Star Wars trailer. What are your thoughts about the upcoming prequel sequel, and on upcoming movies in general?
M: I am of course really looking forward to the new Star Wars movie. I think it'll be a really well done movie. But more than that, it's like the final chapter of an era. Lord of the Rings, done. Matrix, done. Now Star Wars, done. The past 30 years have been really good to geeks like me. As far as upcoming movies, I'm looking forward to seeing Anderson's "The Life Acquatic," Scorsese's "The Aviator," and Soderberg's "Ocean's 12." All of the above look really great, and well produced.
RS: It's been an interesting year for movies.
M: Yeah, it really has. Besides "The Passion" and "Fahrenheit 9/11," there haven't been any lightning rod movies that everyone rushes out to see. There are no "Lord of the Rings," no "Matrix" movies. There aren't even any upcoming "Harry Potter" movies. "Spiderman 2" was good, but no one really rushed out to see it.
RS: What about Shrek 2?
M: Don't make me laugh. That was nothing more than 2 hours of pop culture bull shit. I can poop funnier things than that movie. If I want to hear Mike Meyers jokes for 2 hours, I'll stick with known winners like...Now that I think about it, not one single movie of his stands the test of time. Each movie of his plays like a bad joke you've hears a thousand times prior, and know the punchline before it's said. I mean, how many times is he going to recyle the same jokes?
RS: Gotcha. Well, that about wraps it up. Any last words for our readers?
M: Yeah, quit reading this crappy magazine and go outside. Enjoy the fresh air, while its still fresh. Wait, nix that. Enjoy the polluted air while you can still breathe it.
RS: It's been a pleasure.
M: Word up G-Money.
-Rolling Stone will publish the rest of the interview at a later time-
---------------------------------------------------------
Rolling Stone: So what's new in the wide world of Matt?
Matt: Why, I'm glad you asked. You may need to be more specific than that.
RS: How did your semester end up?
M: Very well. I am officially finished with all of my classes. Although I haven't received my grades yet, I am pretty certain that I have 3 A's and 1 (scratches chin and thinks momentarily)
RS: Uncertain about a particular grade?
M: Well, I'm not entirely sure what I got in my Social Research class. But if I were high rollin' it in Vegas, I'd put the 100 dollar chip on "B" and the 50 dollar chip on "C."
RS: That's great.
M: Thank you! I can't say I really worked all that hard for it.
RS: You're just being modest.
M: (shrugs and smiles)
RS: How did your writing assigments for your Short Stories class end up?
M: They ended up great, considering that I am relatively new to the short story writing game. My first story was about a young boy witnessing his favorite cinema close down, so that the town can make way for a new Megaplex.
RS: That sounds really interesting.
M: I really like the story, but some of the mechanical stuff needs to be worked on over the Christmas break. I also need to work on my second story over the break as well. It's a bit...problematic.
RS: How is that?
M: Well, I tried to write a story about a young poor child in the 1960's, who damages the houses of the rich people who moved him out of his old neighborhood. It ended up being about a boy who gets chased into the woods by two other boys, and they all end up getting lost. They all end up relying on one another to make it out alive.
RS: Well, what's complicated about that?
M: Well, they get chased by a large boar, who ends up brutally killing one of the boys.
RS: Hmmmmm....
M: Yeah, exactly. I then tried to tie it all back to my belief of modern warfare, particularly the Vietnam War, represented with a young poor child, is helping rich children out of the woods. Wow, that sentence didn't make any sense. Regardless, it really became more complicated than I had originally intended.
RS: Going to work on that one?
M: You know it. But I'm also going to use the skills that I picked up with those two stories to write some more light hearted and humorous stuff.
RS: Can you give us a teaser of what's in store?
M: I'd like to write a story about a terminally ill person's last day on earth before he committs suicide.
RS: Sounds pleasant.
M: No, I know it sounds rather morbid. But I'm going to write it in such a way that it's really funny, somewhat tragic, and hopefully uplifting. It'll be fun to write.
RS: We're looking forward to it.
M: -winks and gives the thumbs up to the interviewer-
RS: How are you handling the end of the election year? Are you still disappointed? What are your general thoughts? In thirty words or less "Soap Box Boy."
M: *laughs* Oh I don't know. I don't even watch "The Daily Show" much anymore.
RS: Why's that? I use "The Daily Show" as my daily source of Political Nutrition. It's good brain food.
M: I know, I know. But part of the humor of "The Daily Show," or at least for liberal leaning people, relied on the belief that maybe this word jumbling President of ours would not be in office after November 2nd. So it was easier to laugh at the stuff he would say. Now after the election, it almost seems as if we're navigating our way through some kind of Shakespearian-lite tragedy. Where the walls seem more closed off than ever, and the door is dead bolted shut.
RS: Go on.
M: Well, I don't know. It all just seems kinda hopeless for the liberal side of the coin at the moment. When we had Clinton, he really seemed like he catered to the Republicans a lot. I don't see Bush catering to the liberals in the same way Clinton did to conservatives. But I think this whole election was about what brand you're wearing. If Bush, hadn't been Bush, and was instead some political dweeb like...
RS: Bill Frist.
M: Perfect. Yeah, if Bush weren't Bush and were instead someone like Bill Frist, Kerry would have smoked him like a cheap cigar. Let's face it, as much as liberals despise the man, he is the best name brand there is. Well, maybe not as good as a Kennedy, but the Bush Dynasty makes the Kennedy Dynasty look like the Clampetts. The Bushes are, two Presidents, two governors if you remember that Dubya was once a governor, and an 8 year Vice Presidency. The Kennedy's are what, one President, two assasinations, and a drunken dive off a bridge.
RS: But where do liberals go from here?
M: That's a good question. I think Dean could be the savior of the Democratic Party. As fiery as he is, he is exactly what the Democrats need. The Democrats do not know how to win. They're up against the ropes, getting their soft heads beat the hell in. They moved center with Clinton and lost the election. They moved center with Gore/Lieberman and lost. They moved more center in 2002. Lost. Kerry was pretty liberal, but by then it's too late, the party is more centered than a Buddhist monk. And Richard Reid, the new Democratic minority, and I stress that last word heavily, is talking of moving even *further* right. If people want Republicans, then that's what they'll vote for. Dean can change that, or can at the very least give us a fighting chance. If the Dems move further right, then it's 2000 and Ralph Nader all over again with the liberals jumping ship for someone who better suits their interests.
RS: Seems somewhat hopeless for the Democrats.
M: Well, one thing we have working for us is that the Republicans have boxed themselves in. By catering to the far right branches of their party, they have no choice but to run someone as conservative as Bush. Guiliani, McCain, even Schwarzennegger if they get the amendment passed, are pretty liberals on social issues. Do you think the same conservatives who put Bush in office will vote for an openly pro-choice and homosexual rights candidate like Guiliani or Schwarzennegger?
RS: Hell no.
M: (laughs) Hell no is right. And once again, I point to the name brand thing. Let them run a Bill Frist or another lame duck that they have waiting in the wings. But the only question is, whether there will be a substantial Democratic Party to take advantage while they're vulnerable. Will the Millenium Falcon show up, or will the Empire blow up Yavin because Han Solo is too busy appeasing Jabba the Hutt.
RS: Ooh, good analogy. On that, let's change topics. I'm sure you've see "The Incredibles" by now and have seen the new Star Wars trailer. What are your thoughts about the upcoming prequel sequel, and on upcoming movies in general?
M: I am of course really looking forward to the new Star Wars movie. I think it'll be a really well done movie. But more than that, it's like the final chapter of an era. Lord of the Rings, done. Matrix, done. Now Star Wars, done. The past 30 years have been really good to geeks like me. As far as upcoming movies, I'm looking forward to seeing Anderson's "The Life Acquatic," Scorsese's "The Aviator," and Soderberg's "Ocean's 12." All of the above look really great, and well produced.
RS: It's been an interesting year for movies.
M: Yeah, it really has. Besides "The Passion" and "Fahrenheit 9/11," there haven't been any lightning rod movies that everyone rushes out to see. There are no "Lord of the Rings," no "Matrix" movies. There aren't even any upcoming "Harry Potter" movies. "Spiderman 2" was good, but no one really rushed out to see it.
RS: What about Shrek 2?
M: Don't make me laugh. That was nothing more than 2 hours of pop culture bull shit. I can poop funnier things than that movie. If I want to hear Mike Meyers jokes for 2 hours, I'll stick with known winners like...Now that I think about it, not one single movie of his stands the test of time. Each movie of his plays like a bad joke you've hears a thousand times prior, and know the punchline before it's said. I mean, how many times is he going to recyle the same jokes?
RS: Gotcha. Well, that about wraps it up. Any last words for our readers?
M: Yeah, quit reading this crappy magazine and go outside. Enjoy the fresh air, while its still fresh. Wait, nix that. Enjoy the polluted air while you can still breathe it.
RS: It's been a pleasure.
M: Word up G-Money.
-Rolling Stone will publish the rest of the interview at a later time-
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