For my sister, Reverendmother:

What does it mean that there will be no new nephew?

I will miss out on Uncle-Nephew duties such as:

-giving the child their first lightsaber.

-teaching them the "hand under the arm pit fart trick."

-teaching them the art of the "Wet Willie" finger maneuvers on older sisters.

-showing off my awesome thumb detachment tricks.

-the art of eating an entire pan of Rice Krispie treats.

-taking the child to kick ass water parks.

Oh, who am I fooling? I'm going to have a blast teaching my nieces the exact same things.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*runs hands through beard in maniacal fashion*

matt out