Why must baby girl's onesies carry such creepy daddy issues undertones? Seriously, they always say things like "My Daddy Loves Me" and "I'll Always Be Daddy's Little Girl." I understand the sweet sentiment, but I just get creeped out by the thought of some lonely onesie designer at Gerber's sitting in her office late at night on a Friday, coming up with onesie shirt designs based around her anxieties of the time when she was a child and her daddy got drunk, shot up a 7-11 and is now serving a life sentence in Huntsville, Texas.

- Matt