Yeah...I'm a blockhead.

Valentine's Day never goes well for me. I'm like Linus, the eternal optimist, waiting patiently every year for the Great Pumpkin. Now, this year, I have a wonderful Valentine, who just happened to get sick the day before, rendering him barely conscious when I did get to see him. (I am so ridiculously in love with him that he gets a pass for that one.) I am super thankful to the universe for sending me such a great guy, but still, the curse stands.

My expectations aren't even that high...no roses, no fanciness, just some quality time, meaningful sentiment, and hopefully hot monkey love. As far back as I can remember this holiday being more than a tissue box decorated with hearts, it's just never gone even close to pleasant for me.

Now I know that this is territroy Caesuran has already covered, and I'll never top his list from 2002:

"Let me tell y’all about my Valentine’s Day curse. Excepting year 2000, the past eight or so Valentine’s Days have been harbingers of disaster.

2002 – Missy leaves for Los Angeles
2001 – My last intimate encounter with Murmur, relationship terminated one week later
2000 – As surprisingly pleasant Valentine’s with Sheiliah (we’re still good friends)
1999 – Relations with Kyun-jin suspended on March 1, the day my tour with the U.S. Army ended
1998 – Utterly stupid fight with L. in Lawrence, Kansas just after we visited the last residence of William S. Burroughs, relations deteriorated slowly and ended two months later
1997 – No girlfriend
1996 – Miserable Day with K., relations terminated two weeks later
1995 – V-Day spent alone because T. didn’t believe in V-Day, relations terminated in early March"

But I do have some proof (and this goes back):

Journal entry from Feb 1992 "My date (and you kwow who you are) spent the evening staring at all the men in the pasta joint we frequented. I was so mad, I didn't give him his Valentine's Day card. If I don't ever give it to him, it'll still be in this journal." Guess what folks? The card is still in there...

Now I'm sure I had a good one or two with Moz, but, thinking back, all I see is a tapdancing line of cd's, DVD's, and jewelry boxes that weren't engagement rings, mocking me. ("Another sword...Thank you Peter.") Honestly, if anyonee can remember a good V-Dat I've had, please remind me.

Despite all this, I will still never give up on it. I'm sort of glad that its gotten to the point of being funny, but you'll all be the ones crying when the Great Pumpkin appears and I'm the only one to see it.