OK, so if you're not a fan of my flair for the dramatic, then stop reading now. Here lies an account of heartbreak that is raw, painful, and true.

"We need a break..." Painful and unexpected like a shot to the kidneys. Although I always had it in the back of my mind that it would happen eventually, I didn't think eventually would come so soon. I'm still left with all this love for him, so much that it's practically choking me everyday. Where do I put that? How do I make myself stop feeling that? Crying my guts out everyday isn't doing it. I hoped that I could quickly smash the sad down into anger and get over it. Not working. A relentless ache lingers and touches even the most mundane everyday things I have to do. The numbing effects of alcohol are looking pretty good right now.

I find myslef constantly willing myself back to a time when he is still here, then being sucked back to the present, kicking and screaming. The ghosts are everywhere, unavoidable- voicemail, video games, music, movies. I keep the phone off, cause it's better to miss a call than to keep it on and never get the call.

In the end, all I'm left with are a heap of good memories, some strange mementos (a grey thermal shirt I can never look at again, a pair of 3-d glasses, a ratty old valentine addressed to someone else), and a heavy grief for what could have been.

So yeah, I finally get the pain of being dumped and not seeing it coming. I get it and it sucks.