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Blabbers and Yappers (Complaint--Feel Free to Ignore)
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This is the most intensive part of the year for those of us who are in my line of work. In normal years, with my boss and I both in the office, the tasks and reports which are due are large, detail-intensive and time critical and command my full attention, every minute fully devoted to work. This year my boss has been reassigned to another venue and I’m having to do his work as well as my own. Each day is like a bruise, sore and hugely swollen and lingering in effect into the next day. There have been only two full days this week and I feel as though I’ve already done a whole week’s worth, swollen by the current of imperious demands and unreasonable deadlines and unintelligent input.

I wish she would shut up. I work with someone who goes on and on at full volume about whatever enthusiasm has grabbed her attention at the time. She has a fairly high voice and it has a twang and she talks with her mouth wide open, projecting throughout the office to others on the other side of the room. This makes concentration on my tasks really difficult, especially when there is a requirement for analysis and account balancing.

I get to work 30 minutes early (as I have always done) to have some private quiet time to myself and this braying quadruped shatters the day each day with her hee-haws and enthusiasms. This is the ONLY solitude I ever get (used to get, I should say) and I resent its loss. I guess I’ll have to settle for the peace and quiet and solitude I have driving to work. At least I’m alone then, no one blabbing in my ear about celebrities and earthquakes and food and suchlike. Yap, yap, yap. She's as bad as that idiot alien in Star Wars I, Jar Jar Binks.

Now she’s at her computer, reading the headlines out loud, full volume, to the person across the room. I pray for a phone call to interrupt her and require her to speak more softly and privately. With my luck the phone call is for me. Yup, it was. I’m about ready to turn on my office CD player and choose “The Pipes [bagpipes] and Drums of Innes Tartan” as my musical choice, volume up to about 9 (out of 10 possible). “Scotland Forever” is the first cut on the CD and it will get your blood up and moving whether or not you are Scottish. Also, it will drown out the yapper.

Hey, it’s all in a day’s work and I choose to be here instead of somewhere else. I could be home cleaning house and doing laundry, you know. When life gives you a choice of pistachio or pistachio, choose pistachio. I choose pistachio. I choose my life. Onward into the mists of time....

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