I must have offended the goddess of electrons very severely. In the past three weeks she has sent her minions, her gremlins, to afflict and destroy my dvd player, my air conditioner and, yesterday, my microwave oven.

As we are approaching the autumn equinox, maybe it would be appropriate to make an offering, a sacrifice of burnt toast. Or perhaps dance around the backyard mulberry tree in the altogether. Anything to placate the electronic divinities.

Now, if I only knew the proper chant to perform during the rituals. "Hail, the mighty negative electron!" perhaps?