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Football, Anyone?
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Tomorrow will be a social day, in the company of people to whom I am related by marriage, and for whom I am obligated to be cheerful and entertaining. My husband, our host's brother, will fall asleep in a corner comfy chair as usual after dinner. I don't do socializing for long stretches very gracefully, but I make the effort. I keep wishing they'd tune into the football game; it would provide entertainment by something else and I could sit back and enjoy, too.

I think I'd be more sociable if my job didn't require constant interpersonal interaction, in person and by telephone, computer and fax, all day long. Seldom do I have even five minutes of quiet to think, plan, evaluate, work creatively on a project. It's all on the fly at full throttle.

I do better with spaced effort, and down time in between to cogitate and ruminate and make connections creatively. Then I often come up with solutions and innovative procedures, as much a surprise to me as to my boss and coworkers. Where did that idea come from? Heck if I know. It just did.

But only when I've had the time and quiet to think. None of that tomorrow, missy. You're expected to sparkle and chatter and generally be Miss Congeniality. Some people find it energizing; I experience it as exhausting. Afterwards, all I want to do is sit quietly with a book. Or sleep.

Right now it's very quiet, at the end of a long intense day. When I stop tap-tap-tapping on this keyboard, I can hear nothing but the faint voices outside downstairs and the hard drive in the computer muttering to itself. I'm thankful for the respite.

Good night. Sleep tight. And don't let _____.

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