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Holding on to Anger
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I'm hoping that writing this entry will help me get past my anger. I thought that a good night's sleep would restore my balance, as it usually does, but as soon as I stepped into my kitchen it all came to the surface again.

Morgan Freeman, actor and activist, made a statement yesterday to the effect that President Obama is not our first black president, but our first mixed-race president.

I shared this with B, wanting to explore "black" and the implications of Freeman's assertion. I was also concerned that right wing people would take this as an opportunity to reopen the "birther" issue. In my opinion, this is a time for a united front for liberals of all persuasions (singleness of message and party discipline having worked so well for conservatives). If we're going to win in November, we have to have a coherency.

B jumped all over me and started yelling at me for being a racist and an elitist. Best I can figure out, if a person of color says it, a white person cannot question or discuss it. A white person, ipso facto, is a racist and cannot speak to certain issues. (And a person of color never is?)

'I am human. If you cut me, do I not bleed?'

The irony in this is that B is of European white ancestry herself. What makes her the final arbiter, the ultimate judge? So many of us worked for racial equality; over and over again we marched, sang, voted, wrote letters, etc. Each of us has his/her own stories to tell, own perspective. She and I both lived and worked with and for people of color; what makes her experience more valid than mine?

Even persons of color vary in their experience of race. My friend Jackie, dark of skin, grew up in Oklahoma and denies any experience of racism growing up. Her memories are that everyone got along and squabbles among friends did not split along racial lines.

Back to my sense of anger. It's B's problem, not mine, that she sees every word out of the mouth of a person of color as Received Truth, not to be questioned or discussed by a white European. Unless she heard it on NPR, her other bible.

Bottom line, though, is that I will have to keep my opinions and questions to myself. I abhor friction, cannot abide being yelled at, and she is too emotional to discuss this reasonably. Understanding what has happened and how to deal with it has abated my fury; whatever drives her, she will have to deal with it, not I.

We'll stick to safe topics: cats, coffee, and the weather. This venue is the only place, I guess, where I can be myself. I'll bet this is why freethinkers like to live alone.

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