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It's unexpectedly overcast this morning. I took a picture of billowy clouds, obscuring the sun, lined with golden reflections where clouds had briefly cleared. It's so unusual in southern California to have a sky like this one. Usually, it's either brilliant clear blue or a solid layer of overcast. In either case, not much to look at. I'll try to post the picture on Facebook.

The temperature at 8 o'clock is still in the 70's--so is the humidity (percentage, I mean). The air is still, holding its breath, anticipating...what? I don't know, but it feels as though we're waiting for something. Even the birds are quietly chirping instead of their usual raucous good morning greetings.

My roommate and I briefly discussed adopting Louise's two cats. Louise passed away last week. After I described the adjustments we'd have to make to get them adjusted to a new house (litter box, all doors closed, etc.), she said, in her harsh, dismissive way, "I don't change my life for animals." Well, that was unexpected!

I said that I didn't want problems over animals to cause dissension between us, and her response was that, well then, we wouldn't have any animals, not cats, not dogs.

I pretty well had come to the same conclusion myself, since her ADHD behavior means mindless actions like leaving the door and both yard gates open as she drives off. One morning last week I discovered that she had left the kitchen door open all night. When I asked her not to do it again, she said OK, and she'll be good about it for another few months (this is the pattern).

I'm tolerant of her behavior and words, moreso than in the past, because I realize that she has behavioral issues, mostly controlled by her meds (when she remembers to take them). I have to be careful what I say when she's in one of those moods, though, because she hears what she wants to hear, and goes off on me (and I'm blindsided because that was not what I meant).

She's good for me, that way. I am much more conscious of what I say and how I say it, what impact it will have on other people. If you live in community, you have to realize that words have an effect, and you adjust your words so as to heal, not harm. I try very hard not to sound judgmental, because she was raised by a harsh, judgmental parent and she can't handle it.

But, man oh man, she can sure dish it out. She passes judgment and that's that. I never could tolerate people like her in the past, but I'm learning to hear it as her problem, not mine, and to let it go. Good lesson.

Ancora imparo as each day unfolds.

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