Therapy For Free

This is too funny. I've begun so many projects again.

Ugh, I cannot begin to describe how sick I got. I think it started during bar studying. I lost my mind. Seriously. Well at the time, I thought my behaviour was perfectly normal. I think most looney people do. Well, to make a long story short drugs really work. Obviously I'm talking about legal ones.

I'll probably have to take them for a while but what the heck, I'm happy, hyped and all that stuff.

For the curious, I sucked ass on the bar. One year ago (not mentioning the outside crap that ruined my shot) I was 15 fricken points off. This time 100. And it was totally expected.

About half way through studying I lost it. Couldn't focus got severly depressed, etc. But the worst part was after the bar. I went into a real denial mode. I knew I sucked and I just wanted to block it all out. I didn't freeze, I just couldn't remember a thing. It was so damn easy too. Contracts and con law. I know all that shit damn it. (I'm gumby damn it). I should have known it but something stopped me, no, paralyzed me those three days.

I can't explain it other to say that I was having some severe, very severe post traumatic stress from exactly one year ago. It was the same hotel, the same location, almost the same subjects. I was so so bitter that i missed it last time that I freaked and sucked ass.

In the months that followed there was a lot of destructive behavior culminating in a major blow up at work.

I had a major panic attack and locked myself in an office and called my doctor, couldn't reach him and burst into tears for a good hour. I called someone else (kind of like a police negotiator) and they really did calm me down and made me get the heck out of there and leave. I went in there with a tissue that was obliterated into tiny pieces that were strewn across my face when I left. Actually, now they were stuck there because I was no longer crying, lol. I ran and got my purse, put on my sunglasses and walked out. I had called the receptionist and she just told me to stay in there lol. I came out and I ran. That was like hitting bottom and I realized there was something very very wrong. Can you imagine the bar doing that to someone. Well was it the bar or my brain? I don't know.

But, I am doing so much better now. I'll try again next year. Actually 100 points shouldn't be so bad to recover from. The only shocker was the first performance I got 55!?! the thursday one I got 80!!! Can you imagine, the worst PT and the best PT score for me ever. Go figure that out. It's so arbitrary.

Now next year I doubt I'll have post traumatic stress because I've really gotten it out of my system. I throughly expected the results and I have moved on. This September I'll start studying again and I guess I won't be a lawyer until 06. But what's the hurry huh?

I love this man:




	Therapy For Free Jack The Pumpkin King! He loves to scare people out of their wits. Headstrong, confident and likes grand gestures. He's now working night and day to make this year's Halloween festival the greatest ever. Home Get Email Updates Margaret Cho's Blog The One Ring.Net Tim Halloween Town Love Is hEsIlLy FIREWOLF! Admin Password Remember Me 38051 Curiosities served Share on Facebook				2005-06-13 1:40 AM Bantha Poo doo Previous Entry :: Next Entry Mood: Hyped! Read/Post Comments (3) This is too funny. I've begun so many projects again. Ugh, I cannot begin to describe how sick I got. I think it started during bar studying. I lost my mind. Seriously. Well at the time, I thought my behaviour was perfectly normal. I think most looney people do. Well, to make a long story short drugs really work. Obviously I'm talking about legal ones. I'll probably have to take them for a while but what the heck, I'm happy, hyped and all that stuff. For the curious, I sucked ass on the bar. One year ago (not mentioning the outside crap that ruined my shot) I was 15 fricken points off. This time 100. And it was totally expected. About half way through studying I lost it. Couldn't focus got severly depressed, etc. But the worst part was after the bar. I went into a real denial mode. I knew I sucked and I just wanted to block it all out. I didn't freeze, I just couldn't remember a thing. It was so damn easy too. Contracts and con law. I know all that shit damn it. (I'm gumby damn it). I should have known it but something stopped me, no, paralyzed me those three days. I can't explain it other to say that I was having some severe, very severe post traumatic stress from exactly one year ago. It was the same hotel, the same location, almost the same subjects. I was so so bitter that i missed it last time that I freaked and sucked ass. In the months that followed there was a lot of destructive behavior culminating in a major blow up at work. I had a major panic attack and locked myself in an office and called my doctor, couldn't reach him and burst into tears for a good hour. I called someone else (kind of like a police negotiator) and they really did calm me down and made me get the heck out of there and leave. I went in there with a tissue that was obliterated into tiny pieces that were strewn across my face when I left. Actually, now they were stuck there because I was no longer crying, lol. I ran and got my purse, put on my sunglasses and walked out. I had called the receptionist and she just told me to stay in there lol. I came out and I ran. That was like hitting bottom and I realized there was something very very wrong. Can you imagine the bar doing that to someone. Well was it the bar or my brain? I don't know. But, I am doing so much better now. I'll try again next year. Actually 100 points shouldn't be so bad to recover from. The only shocker was the first performance I got 55!?! the thursday one I got 80!!! Can you imagine, the worst PT and the best PT score for me ever. Go figure that out. It's so arbitrary. Now next year I doubt I'll have post traumatic stress because I've really gotten it out of my system. I throughly expected the results and I have moved on. This September I'll start studying again and I guess I won't be a lawyer until 06. But what's the hurry huh? I love this man: Read/Post Comments (3) Previous Entry :: Next Entry Back to Top