Here is the text of the get well card that I sent my friend when I gave him a copy of William Shatner's "The Transformed Man":

"[Friend],

So much can be said about William Shatner’s “The Transformed Man”, but most of it has been said in the liner notes by Bill himself or by his producer. I will add several comments, though:

First off, let me apologize for the pain you are about to experience. It will help to be well and thoroughly drunk when you attempt the first (and likely only) listening. This will hurt like nothing else you have ever, or will ever experience.

Next, please know that this hurts me more than it hurts you, because I know already to what I am subjecting you.

And lastly, protect this CD with your life. This is Trekkie porn, my friend, and many have died in its production, distribution and performance. Honor those who have sacrificed so much that you could have an experience that means so little.

Forgive me, and my condolences.


Elsa."

It was the least I could do.