I almost forgot that Lent comes right after Mardi Gras. In the summer before the Storm I had fallen away from going to church every Sunday for the first time in over 15 years. And then came the storm. Some Sundays I am too tired, some Sundays are the only day available to work on hurricane repair, some Sundays I am too mad at God, and some Sundays I just don't have the energy to battle with Miss Teen about why she has to go when she doesn't know if she believes. But the end result is that Lent snuck up on my this year. (Me, the woman who used to single handedly organize the Parish Wednesday night Lenten program...)

So what to give up? What to take on? How to practice a halfway Holy Lent when I am not in the best spiritual place?

And then it came to me. This Lent I am giving up yelling.

In the past 18 months I have become quite the yeller. Never one to keep my feelings to myself, now they are coming out at ever increasing decibel levels every single day. And I don't like it. My family doesn't like it. It is coming from a place of frustration, anger and helplessness at a time when life has tossed some major upheavals in our direction. It is not easy to live next to a city that looks a lot like a wasteland, to raise a teenager, to become middle aged etc etc etc.

In order to not yell I will have to pray, I will have to practice listening, I will have to acknowledge the fears.

It is not going to be an easy Lenten discipline.