me in the piazza

I'm a writer, publishing both as SJ Rozan and, with Carlos Dews, as Sam Cabot. (I'm Sam, he's Cabot.) Here you can find links to my almost-daily blog posts, including the Saturday haiku I've been doing for years. BUT the blog itself has moved to my website. If you go on over there you can subscribe and you'll never miss a post. (Miss a post! A scary thought!) Also, I'll be teaching a writing workshop in Italy this summer -- come join us!
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The Supreme Court didn't go far enough

I changed my mind. I decided I like the Supreme Court's ruling on corporate donations -- or, I would, if the Court had the balls to follow up on the implications. Corporations are persons and have the first amendment rights of persons? Yeah, baby! Then how about the rest of their rights? I want to see businesses in America exercising all their rights! If they're persons, then they have the right to bear arms, don't they? Cigna's right to raise a private army shall not be infringed! And the right to marry, no? Though whether they can marry same-sex corporations awaits another Supreme Court decision. They have the right of habeus corpus, and to confront their accusers, but what this really means is, if after their Constitutionally-guaranteed speedy trial they're convicted of a crime, they go to jail! Just like you and I would! If Exxon's found guilty, everyone who works there, from the CEO to the gas jockey, and every office chair and gas pump -- lock 'em all up! Throw their asses and their hoses in jail!

But best: persons can vote! So check it out: the, say, 250,000 American citizens who work for Citibank can vote anyway, being citizens and all; and Citibank gets a vote, too, making their influence 250,001 votes. But me, being an LLC myself, I get my one vote, and my LLC gets a vote! My votes have just doubled! Every small business in America gets a vote, right? They're persons, right? Every sole proprietor and freelancer in America can vote twice, now. Thanks, Justices! And the corner deli, which employs 4 people: they just added 25% to their influence, because now the deli can vote. And the 3-person laundry's added 33%. Hey, this actually WILL be good for the middle class.

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