Mental note to Airborne Express delivery person: Yes, I signed the slip you left yesterday, and yes my signature allows you to leave the package at my front door and releases your company from all further liability for the package. However, if I come home and someone has nicked the package, which contains the new multi-function printer that Mrs. The Fyd is so eagerly anticipating, why then I shall need someone to blame. And it won't be me.

Also any other delivery persons dropping off birthday presents for me, please do not drive off after doing the bare minimum of your duty. Best you stand guard over them until my wife arrives home or else you might want to prowl the neighborhood vigilantly, keeping a keen eye out for miscreants and truants.