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Rain In Your Heart
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Yesterday was one of those dark days. Maybe it was just the jolt of being back at the day job for nine hours after having over a week off, coupled with holiday exhaustion, I dunno -- but I was pretty well convinced that my novel in progress was utter shit, that life was a chore, and that the best course of action would be fleeing to live in the wilderness with my wife and kid (though my wife, naturally, did not agree). I was pretty friggin' depressed. There were other factors -- not much sleep the night before, falling way behind on my novel-writing quota and losing momentum on the book, my computer broken and in the shop, dirty dishes in the kitchen, etc. etc. etc. I was also sad to see my mom and sister go back home after their visit.

Today things are looking brighter, though. I'm told my computer is all better now (yay), and I got crazy amounts of sleep last night. I napped from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m., then took over River-care so Heather could grab some shut-eye. He cooed a bit, fussed a bit, slurped down a bottle, and was asleep by about 2 a.m. I slept on the couch until 6, when he woke up again, then I changed him and promptly passed him over to Heather. It was, interruptions aside, more than a full night's sleep!

I also woke up with lots of ideas and insights about my novel, and on the drive to work today had to resist the urge to pull over and scribble notes (I just scribbled 'em when I got to the office). I tried to jolly myself and psych myself up (it's easier to write when I'm convinced, however briefly or delusionally, that I'm totally awesome). I think my little dark night of the soul was useful, too, because it made me aware of some incipient problems in the book that I can fix before they become too entrenched. So, all together, things are good. The sun is shining and birds are singing -- metaphorically, at least. (Literally, it's drear and rainy, a much better complement to my mood from yesterday.)

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