My full con report still needs a few tweaks and additions - I hope to get it posted over the next few days or so. In the meantime, to tide you over, I present the Generic All-Purpose TorCon Report:

On day X of TorCon, I [got up way too early/slept much too late], grabbed some breakfast and a large coffee, and staggered over to the convention centre. I attended a panel where [only one of the panelists showed up/Guy Gavriel Kay proved himself to be as intelligent and articulate in real life as he is on paper/at least one of the panelists had no idea why they were one the panel/an audience member with an axe to grind blathered on too much.] (Repeat as necessary for each panel attended.)

After a while, I got tired of panels, so I [volunteered in programming ops/hung out on the comfy couches in the top level of the convention center/spent money in the dealer's room/wrote some of my con report]. Later I attended a [fabulously crowded/ridiculously crowded/reminiscent of the mosh pit at a Metallica show/unexpectedly and miraculously uncrowded] party, where I [cowered introvertedly in a corner and ate pretzels/talked with lots of people] and [met a famous writer/met an editor/wanted to introduce myself to a famous writer but couldn't get up the courage to inject myself into the conversation/commiserated with another neopro about feeling shy/fervently hoped I had put on enough antiperspirant].

When I got tired of the party, I went to the hotel bar, where I chatted with [my Clarionites/someone else's Clarionites/the staff and contributors of Strange Horizons/friends of one or more of the above] and drank [Coke/single malt scotch/homemade mead carefully hidden from the bar staff] until [midnight/1 a.m./they closed down the bar and kicked us out]. And then I went up to my room and fell into bed.

There you have it, folks. TorCon in a nutshell.