Brought to you by the wonderful craigslist "Best Of". I normally post with things of more substance, but KNOW that some of you programmers/developers may just get a kick outta this:

dude_style.css

/* unrealistic basic requirements */
body { type: tall, thin, chiseled-features; looks: like-a-rockstar; background-color: #FFFFFF; }
a { dynamo: inthesack; font-size: 20px; text-decoration: bold; color: #FF0000; }
a:link { but: ready-2-settle-down; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; }
a:hover { been-there: done, that, jaded; text-decoration: underline; color: #000000; }

/* additional unrealistic requirements */
.age { preferably-over: #000030; }
.intellect { philosophy: yes; popscience4fun: yes; smarter: thaneveryoneelse; font-decoration: underline; }
.art ( type: brilliant; frequents: galleries; not: just-on-weekends; familiar; artworld-politics; }
.computeruseage { too: #00much; aol: would-die-b4-using; ethic: hacker; }
.emotion { where: present; more: than-a-tin-cup; }

/* its all so */
.simple { yet: elusive; i-give: #UP0000; }
.but { i: am-like-this; why: cant-i-find-someone-like-this; }
.whine { ok: ill-stop; }