O Holy Deity of the Cinema
Who protects us learned in your ways
We laud you and hold you in high regard
O Keeper of Hollywood
As you watch over us and smile upon our triumphs
And as you surely wince at our failures

I come to you in contrition
And pray for your mercy
As I was not prepared for what I was to see
On the 18th eve of July, MMVI

I ask your forgiveness for watching Skinwalkers
For beholding the travesty in front of me for
The full 90 minutes
I ask your forgiveness to the screening staff
For they surely did not know their failure
Until it was too late
And please see to it, that you serve the wrath earned
By any who knowingly brought us to
The doom and despair of this…
Worst. Werewolf. Movie. Ever.
I believe this deserves fire and brimstone
If such things are among your resources

I pray for your mercy, that I led Erik,
Your eternally faithful servant
And that I led Nick,
He who is novice to your works
But enthusiastic at the fount of your blessings
Into this unholy disaster
They knew not what they would see
I take full responsibility for this
Erik, in your honor, walked right the fuck out
But I held to an unrequited hope of redemption
And found none

Please deal the director
And whoever bestowed Your treasured honor
The Greenlight
To this unholy abomination and waste of film

May it rot on DVD
At the local ghetto Blockbuster
In Your Name’s Sake
The End
*roll credits*